Sunday, January 13, 2013

Easing Into 2013 Like a Hippo Into a Pool of Jelly

"You can see my front door from here!" I squealed.

Lydia and Lowri peered into the distance.

"And you can see your flat too, Lowri!"

We were standing on a terraced bit at the top of Lydia's new block of flats, even though the many, many signs all told us very clearly that it was "Private Property" and most definitely "Not A Communal Area".

"Oh yes!" said Lowri. "There are the little white lines around its windows."

She squinted affectionately at the red brick monolith for a moment. "Look at its little eyebrows" she added.

Lydia took a thoughtful drag of her cigarette.

"We definitely have to do the yoghurt pots thing. We could easily get string between our three flats. Easily."

We had been drinking coffee at Lydia's and had come out to scout the location for a filmette* we're making for our next Eggs Collective outing to Mother's Ruin Theatrical Spectacular in February. This, we quickly decided, would be perfect, although from a slightly different position you would get B&M Bargains and Moss Side Leisure Centre in the background, which was unanimously agreed to be a good thing.

*definitely not a word

It was bloody freezing up there, though, so we didn't stay long. As we made our way back down the spiral stairs to Lydia's flat we mused on the really important aspect of the performance: what to wear.

*****************************************

I came to a sad but definite conclusion this week: I should not be a Zumba teacher. This has little to do with my general lack of co-ordination/fitness/pep and a lot to do with my unfortunate tendency to go startlingly pink-faced at the merest whiff of cardiovascular activity. Every aerobics lesson I have ill-advisedly stumbled into has contained a bouncy, lycra-ridden instructor wearing some kind of bright pink endeavour. When I wore a bright pink top to a Zumba class last week I very quickly began to lose any t-shirt/face distinction. After a quick scan of the room I swiftly realized I was the only one suffering quite so dramatically from this affliction, even though Lydia was going through her own torment after receiving the wrong answer to the question "do you think there'll be a fag break?".

It's a shame in a way, because I think I would enjoy being a Zumba teacher. As a Zumba teacher you can make whole rooms full of people do absolutely anything you like, including something called "The Rocking Horse" and some very dubious pelvic thrusting to MC Hammer's Hammer Time.

I loved Zumba. Unlike normal aerobics where there is some kind of sadistic insistence on "getting it right", in Zumba you can just leap about and do what you want, as long as you don't get in the way of other leapers too much.

We are going again this week. I might wear a different coloured top.


****************************************

Ben is going to Australia in a few weeks, touring festivals for two months with his show. Two months!

Two months.

I have a lot to do, and have made lots of plans. I am sort of excited to live on my own in my exciting city, close to friends, with loads of exciting performance and writing stuff in the pipeline. I am picturing myself as a sort of North-of-England, all-singing all-writing Carrie Bradshaw, only hopefully not as much of an unremitting dick.

I'm excited for Ben. I'm excited for me. But I'm also sad for us both, because we like each other lots and I really sense that he thrives on having someone to cook dinner for.

******************************************

I haven't been blogging because I have felt weird about it. I have been trying to be all Business about it and think of this blog as a Promotional Tool but when I try to write about career stuff here I feel like a massive tool myself, so I think I'll save that stuff for my website (HERE IS MY WEBSITE) and write on here about things that wander through my brain, aimless and bemused as a cow in Primark.

*******************************************

Oh, yeah, and happy new year. May 2013 be your year, you bloody gorgeous winner, you.

20 Comments:

Blogger Ellie said...

I, for one, love the post that talk about bright pink Zumba tops and face/tshirt indistinction. And those post about unicorns too. xxx

2:18 pm

 
Blogger ZxX said...

going goood

Smartcric

crictime
watchcric
CCl 6 Points Table

India Vs Australia T20 Match Live

1:00 pm

 
Blogger Unknown said...

Easter Bunny

Easter Images

Mothers Day 2016

Mothers Day Images

Happy Mothers Day Images

5:50 am

 
Blogger Unknown said...

mothers day 3D Pictures
mothers day wishes from son

10:39 am

 
Blogger Baba Singh said...

Teachers day quotes
Teachers day shayari
Teachers day poem
Poem on Teachers day
Teachers day quotes in Hindi
Teachers day quotes in Tamil
Teachers day quotes in Marathi
quotes on Teachers day
Teachers day speech in Hindi
Speech on Teachers day
Speech on Teachers day in Hindi
Teachers day wishes
Teachers day quotes
Teachers day poems
Teachers day images

7:23 pm

 
Blogger Unknown said...

Men’s hair styles 2017. We have formulated a list of mens haircut styles 2017 that will come to stay in 2017

3:15 pm

 
Blogger Unknown said...

Mehndi designs 2017 are now launched in there new fashion trend with best arabic mehndi designs

3:46 pm

 
Blogger Metpor said...

Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have
really enjoyed browsing your blog posts.
After all I’ll be subscribing to your rss feed
and I hope you write again soon!
maket pasta | pasta altlığı | beze kulesi | strafor kesim | maket pasta strafor fiyatları | pasta maketleri | strafor | strafor harf | söve | söve fiyatları

1:08 pm

 
Blogger teguh wibowo said...

Titip artikel ya cara mengobati sipilis

8:42 pm

 
Blogger Vanwingerden Urick said...

Envision heading out with the cash in your pocket in what could be not as much as 60 minutes! Quick cash is straightforward when you utilize an automobile title credit.
Cash Advance Corona
Payday Loans Chula-vistawww.usacheckcashingstore.com/chula-vista

6:21 pm

 
Anonymous kiran said...

when i visiting this site I found cool and interesting here keep sharing kindly check it out
anjaneya dandakam in telugu download

4:57 am

 
Blogger Unknown said...

In the event that one executes great planning procedures and has a decent budgetary arrangement, the requirement for obtaining by a method for payday advances can be limited. check cashing san diego

8:55 am

 
Anonymous Brooklyn said...

This is extremely awesome article and instructive post mercifully check
gayatri mantra translation in english

7:26 am

 
Anonymous hanuman chalisa english said...

Thanks for giving us so much time !!
Great tips man! Worth reading. To be honest at first sight I thought you’ll use the same old tips people used to write on their blogs, but here I learnt some new things in this key Point, something out of the box!
hanuman chalisa english
hanuman chalisa in english

hanuman chalisa in english




3:47 pm

 
Blogger Saima Khan said...

very very best article. I love your post very much........Read more

1:08 pm

 
Blogger Latest Group Links said...

join sunny leone , most sexy and porn whatsapp group link
all night masti
whatsapp group invite links 2000
join bhabi Whatsapp group
muthuchippi whatsapp group links
porn whatsapp group links

11:53 am

 
Blogger Hello Laundry said...


Such a great piece of content shared by you! Well done buddy!

dry cleaning near me

great post also

7:43 pm

 
Blogger Naveen Gupta said...

Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here

1:46 pm

 
Blogger Naveen Gupta said...

Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here

1:47 pm

 
Blogger Naveen Gupta said...

Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here
Click Here

1:48 pm

 

Post a Comment

<< Home