Snowdrops on Ponies and Kittens as Mittens

I am grateful that Justme has tagged me for a meme, for otherwise I would have to write about this life-changing move I am about to make, and I can’t be bothered. It’s sunny outside, and I have yet to decide what to have for lunch.

Favourites

Clothes shop:

At the end of my Brixton street there is a large, dubious-smelling Barnardo’s charity shop. It has a big clothes section, packed with shiny tops from the mid-nineties, inexplicably horrible jeans and jumpers that look as though they have been knitted out of sick. However, following much perseverance and muffled sniggering I have been recently been able to unearth some gems that have become my wardrobe stalwarts. Why, the dress I am wearing today is a prime example! Black with cream art deco-esque designs, with little sleeves and tiny buttons, and every time I wear it people ask me whether I have lost weight (answer: no). I wait with barely contained glee for someone to tell me they like it before leaping on them and shrieking “IT ONLY COST THREE POUNDS!” over and over until they run away wildly, clutching their faces in agony. A selection of other items I have bought from this shop are: polka dot play suit (1); pink silk top (1); cardigans/jumpers (4); terrible crime thriller books written circa 1984 (767).

Charity shops are my favourite shops. I hate Next and Gap, and would rather eat my own face than set foot in a Primark. Normal shops-wise I love Joy although I slightly hate it now that I have looked at their website.

Furniture shop:

I don’t have a favourite furniture shop. I hate walking around those shops and soaking up the sinister you-must-own-this-or-your-life-will-be-shit thought rays that they pump through the air-conditioning vents. They are trying to control us with their consumerism! Kill!

Now excuse me while I go and polish my tin foil hat.

Sweet:

I love Green and Black’s Maya Gold chocolate, but I love it even more when eaten in tiny pieces combined with a cup of Twinning’s Lemon & Ginger tea. (Do I win the prize for the most middle-class sentence ever written? I hope so.)

I like sweet things in small doses, so that I can taste them properly. Chocolate with red wine, spicy tea or strong espresso – these things appeal to me more than just falling head first into a vat of melted Dairy Milk.

City:

I feel it would be cruel to whip London from the top spot just as I am about to turn my back on it. I love London, it has been my home for years and has mostly been good to me (crime and heartbreak aside). I do love others, too, though. Paris is beautiful, and New York is awe-inspiring. I loved Lisbon when I went there last summer, with its steep cobbled streets and bleached-white buildings. The Barrio Alto district was my favourite part, with its seediness and ever-proliferating street art. Brighton is also amazing for street art and murals, and I love its glorious kitsch-ness and proximity to the sea. I have only been to Edinburgh at festival time, which means that I probably have a biased view of it, but I consider it to be close to my heart. A lot of things have happened to me and for me in Edinburgh. Prague I loved, cold and mistily mysterious as it was. Other cities: Sydney; Salzburg; Bangkok; Kuala Lumpur; Singapore; Christchurch; Chicago; Milan; Athens; Cardiff. I loved Cardiff, but I suppose it is about the people you are with rather than the city itself.

Manchester is a great place and I cannot wait to live there, but I suspect I will always have I HEART LONDON etched somewhere on my heart, alongside little pictures of a red telephone box and a London bus.

Drink:

If I am not drinking-drinking then I will have a sparkling water, please. Or just tap, whatever. On the rare occasions when I do drink (ahem) I am blessed with a taste for many and varied things. I love good wine (red, white or rosé), but sometimes would prefer gin and tonic. There are moments when a pint of cold lager is delicious, and others when real, proper beer makes everything seem better. Guinness makes me feel warm and, oddly, a bit stoned. I would drink Champagne for breakfast everyday if I thought I could get away with it.

Sambucca causes massive memory loss, and should be avoided unless someone else is paying.

Music:

I was almost tempted to leave this one out, because really. It’s too hard!
I don’t like most guitar band, indie rock-type music. I don’t hate it, and if it comes on I won’t cover my ears and start banging saucepans together (difficult to do both at the same time), but it never really moves me. It doesn’t make me cross my arms around my waist and say “oh”, or want to dance insanely, or throw up (in a good way). It’s more like, well, that’s alright.

I love singing and listening to jazz. Georgia on My Mind is my favourite song to sing, along with Summertime (obv.), Black Coffee and Bad, Bad Leroy Brown. Actually, along with about forty other jazz standards.

I love words in music. Paul Simon is one of the best songwriters of all time, along with Leonard Cohen (Famous Blue Raincoat makes me want to throw up and die) (in a great, incredible, amazing way). Jill Scott is a poet and a singer, and the harmony and lyrics in her music is adjective-defying. I saw her live once, and my God. That woman should be king. I also love Joan As Police Woman, to such an extent that I wanted to punch people at her gigs for pretending to love her more than I did. I really like mash-up albums, and always listen to my recently-acquired Kleptones album before I go out.

I don’t know. I love music that means something, lyrically and melodically. Guitar bands with their 1-2-3-4 rhythms just leave me a little cold.

My single favourite piece of music ever, though, is the Elgar Cello Concerto (particularly when played by Jacqueline Du Pré). I used to play it, and when I did I would feel like it had taken over my whole body.

TV series:

Well, this one is potentially a bit embarrassing. There I was, making myself seem dashingly refined and cultured by claiming that I loved classical music, and now I have to go and admit that my favourite TV series is Charmed.

Shit.

Film:

The first one I can think of is Priscilla Queen of the Desert. I also like Kill Bill (both volumes). I like crime thriller type films and heist movies. I can’t watch anything with Tom Cruise in it, and if it starred Renée Zellwegger I would definitely think twice.

Workout:

I do this most mornings. I used to go to the gym, but discovered a great alternative that was much more fun and life-affirming: not going.

Pastries:

Those little Portuguese custard tart things, O, they are delicious. The Brixton/Stockwell area is otherwise known as Little Portugal, so these delicious treats are scattered along the pavements with joyful abundance.

Coffee:

I am a slave to a good cup of coffee, but it must be strong, and either black or with a splash of milk. To me, latte tastes like baby vomit. Good coffee is delicious, but starting the day with a cup of watery coffee makes me spontaneously fall over with disappointment. I like my coffee like I like my men: in a pretty cup with a small biscuit on the side.

This has been a fun meme, thank you Justme for tagging me. In turn, I will tag the following people: Ben, Fishwife and Clarissa.