Sunday, July 28, 2013

Edinburgh Eve 2013

Tomorrow morning we go to the Edinburgh Fringe. Two days of technical and dress rehearsals before starting the run of Bright Lights on Wednesday. This time next week I will be five shows in. It feels unreal, and I am pinging nauseatingly between heady excitement and abject fear. The weather is obliging me with a bit of heartfelt pathetic fallacy, hurtling between searing sunshine and intense downpours.

I have been meticulously labelling all my stuff, scrawling my telephone number over everything. It's weird, doing a show alone. The buck stops with me. Something's lost? My fault. Words forgotten? My fault. Accidentally chewed off own arm out of sheer terror? Definitely my fault.

Now I sit, surrounded by small bits of tape, doing the annual writing and losing of lists. I keep suddenly worrying that I have forgotten all my lines and having to announce them to the empty flat. Ben and Dan are downstairs in the theatre space rehearsing for their two shows, every so often one of them appears to make some tea or a terrible pun.

Bright Lights is a show based on this blog, in an indirect kind of way. All those years of being a terrible temp, squirreled away behind a reception desk writing earnest blog posts about my CAREER and how I just wanted to SING, they have all gone into this show. It's a show about risk and taking chances. It's a show about failure.

Have you seen my trailer yet? I have been smearing it obsessively across social media sites so you're probably bored of it. However, we all have to be relentless self-marketers, as smug arts websites do not tire of reminding us, so here it is again:



This last month has been Egg-shaped. We trotted off to Latitude, DUCKIE and the Southbank, writing and rehearsing furiously in between. It was all fueled by a heady mix of in-jokes and too many bottles of white wine. Lowri was back from Brazil, Lydia hadn't yet moved to London, Roxy hadn't started her new job, Sara was being her usual excellent self and I was in a highly-strung pre-Edinburgh state. It was brilliant. Now we have a small hiatus before a massively exciting Top Secret Event on December 20th (you are invited, so pencil it in). It was delicious to have a run of excitement with those crazy Eggs Collective lads before we all change gears for a while.

DUCKIE

We performed at DUCKIE on the Friday and Saturday nights, stalking about from 9pm until 3am sporting glittery green dresses, beehive wigs and haughty expressions. We had flirted, snubbed and generally click-clacked our way into a really good time. We were the Ginas with that Queen of Cabaret, Amy Lamé. (Look here to get a feel for the night, including the glitter canons at the end of our performance.)

On the Sunday afternoon at about 3pm we were skulking about on the baked backstreets of Camden.

“What was your favourite bit, then?”

I turned to Lydia, who was walking behind me and gazing dreamily into the sunshine like someone who has just realized her major crush on the world is reciprocated. She had clearly been considering the question for a while.

“All of it” I said. “What was yours?”

She sighed.

“Well. There was this moment, after we had taken off our heels and put on our trainers. We flung ourselves onto the dance floor to scrape up the remains of the night. I joined in with some people who were singing along to ‘Build Me Up, Buttercup’ in a circle with their arms around each other. Then more people joined in. Then more. People were breaking the circle to get in and be part of it. It was top.”

We continued walking.

“Yeah” I said. “They were that kind of nights. I’ve got two best bits. The first is when we stormed the Drakes photo shoot and had a stand-off. It was like West Side Story but with more sexual tension. The second is being on stage staring fiercely at eight hundred cheering people, and feeling like joy might just whisk me away.”

We loved Sally, the woman who made and fitted our wigs. She had sharp, fizzy blue eyes and a sharp, fizzy wit, dispensing wry advice and jokes through a mouth full of kirby grips as she squinted at and straightened our beehives.

The Figs in Wigs leapt on the bar every hour for a stony-faced dance routine, and they served the drinks the rest of the time. After we had performed, at about two thirty in the morning, we all put on our trainers and went back down to the club. I was leaning on the bar chatting to a Fig, when Get Lucky came on. It felt like the joy coursed up through my Converse and made me leap and laugh and dance until I thought my legs would fall off.

Two nights of magic. Well over a thousand people. Roxy said her favourite part of the night was watching the four of us warm up. After the madness of getting down to London and getting into costume, swearing at fake eyelashes as they stick to everything but our eyelids, make up, line-runs and prop panics, the warm up is just the four of us, focused on each other. Roxy loves that bit, probably because it means nobody's escaped for a cigarette/glass of wine/wee.

DUCKIE is always a glorious night. This time, though, in Camden Town Hall, both nights were epic and joyous. Two nights to end all nights, or begin all nights. Two nights of feeling like you’re on the brink of the universe.

FILTH at Southbank


I want to get a T-shirt made that reads 'I Sang The Thong Song At The Southbank". Or maybe "I Threw Up In The Purcell Rooms".

I asked Sara what her favourite bit was.

"Sometimes you're in a little still moment, and you catch yourself. I was sitting on a piano stool backstage, dressed from head to toe in Primark, waiting to take a mouthful of fake sick and go on. I could see the back of Dickie Beau's head as he watched another act on the little fuzzy TV screen. You and Scottee were joking about something on another sofa. And I just thought: this is amazing."

(I included that one because it involves me having a joke with someone really cool. But you knew that.)

Roxy's favourite bit was rushing into the kitchen of a Fashionable Restaurant and demanding some free chips. "It's for a show!" she sang, and stared at them for a long time. Eventually a nice chef was disconcerted enough to give her some chips ("I hope the head chef doesn't find out about this") in a small china ramekin. Thanking them, Roxy darted off back down the Southbank, where she begged a "really nice and clean-looking" woman for her recently-emptied aluminium takeaway tray. Abandoning the ramekin, she came back with our essential prop.

Sara re-arranged the chips in the tray and then tentatively sniffed at her hands.

"Oh" she said, disconsolately. "Now my fingers smell like someone else's tuna."

After our performance we all changed into our gold sequin dresses and danced happily into the crowd, who were all lurching excellently like teenagers. Bags had been stacked in piles on the floor as people freed their hands to point at each other and do actions to lyrics.

My sister, Sophie, surveyed us all, thoughtfully. "Ah HA! I've rumbled you!" she said, triumphantly. "This Eggs Collective Ladies' Night thing isn't an act at all. It's just your actual personalities!"

The next morning we woke up deep in the wilds of Bermondsey, in our friend Amy's flat. Lowri and I were top-and-tailing on a mattress, and Lydia and Roxy had shared the bed.

Sara pointed at the blue sky from her tangled sleeping bag on the sofa.

"Look! This is LIFE!"

We then all went to the Mango Landin' in Brixton, where we sat in the sun, and dreamily drank Sangria until our faces melted.

LATITUDE

I asked Ben (not 'my' Ben) what his Latitude highlight was and he considered carefully.

"The thing about Latitude is" he said, after a moment's silence. "They really know how to light a tree."

By the time I got there at about 11pm on Friday night everyone was in full festival mode. The two Bens came to meet me from my shuttle bus, where I said goodbye to my new best friends in the whole world (whose names I cannot now remember) and was ushered to our camping arena.

"What" said not-my-Ben, sweeping his arm lavishly around the array of vodka, red wine, white wine, cider, beer, rum, rosé wine and gin, "would you like to drink?"

"Um, can I have all of it?" I said, in the enfeebled voice of a woman who has been on public transport for eight hours in the baking heat (after a full day at work).

"Yes!" he declared, and began concocting me a veritable George's Marvellous Medicine in a small, plastic bottle.

We went off and found everyone else, and the fun began (for me. It had begun for them at about 3pm the previous day.)

At 10 o'clock the following morning we were in the rehearsal tent, eating bacon sandwiches like they might save our lives.

Lydia, whose To Pack list for the festival had been:

1. Wolf leotard
2. Party shorts
3. 'Rock On!' jacket
4. Tent (optional)

was smoking endless rollies. "This is my favourite bit" she said, thoughtfully. "Wait, why does it say 'soya' on my coffee cup? I can't drink out of this, what if someone sees?"

My favourite bits were crawling in the dusty mud at the end of our first performance, rolling onto people's laps. It's always the best bit because, even if the rest of the set hasn't gone brilliantly, when you tell someone sincerely that you love them they will say it back to you, and it really feels like they mean it. Dusty-kneed and sticky-faced, we clambered over Latitude. I hugged one woman and she said "I read your blog!", which was amazing.

Hi, woman!

Our sets at Latitude were peculiar, because we had written material for people in full party mode, and it was four in the afternoon. We did our very best, lunging and leaping in our gold sparkles, but in retrospect I think we all agreed that we are late night ladies, really.

(A man stole my phone charger from our dressing room, as well. I am still glowering darkly about that.)

The amazing thing about Latitude was spending time with brilliant people. We lazed and dazed, swilling glorious things in the sunshine and regressing to childhood by doing running races around tents and buying small Spiderman badges for everyone. Ben (my-Ben) and I slept in a tent with two others, sizzling like sausages in the early morning heat. I loved seeing everyone crawling malodorously from their tents, blinking like newborn (and slightly hungover) kittens. The sad part was that Lowri had already gone back to Brazil, so we were one level of brilliance down.

On Saturday night we all danced until we fell over and got dust in our eyes.

"I love you!" I said to everyone. I stand by it. I bloody love that lot.

On Sunday night my brain switched to anxiety mode. A neon sign in my mind hummed and buzzed, blinking on and off in an ominously demanding manner. Edinburgh. EDINBURGH.

I went to bed before everyone else, feeling sucked down into nerves and apprehension.

I waved everyone off on Monday as they got in the minibus back to Manchester and I set off for London to work with my director Montse. She is coming up to Edinburgh with me for the first few days, so I am not totally alone. (Ben and Dan are up there, too, but they have two of their own shows to grapple with.)

Now I sit, surrounded by boxes, bits of tape and pieces of paper saying:

Vitamins
Microphone
Shoes

and I am feeling the nerves seep in. Tomorrow morning we leave to join a million other performers who are baring their souls for a month.

It is terrifying and brilliant.

I am dreading it and I cannot wait.




63 Comments:

Blogger Happy Brar said...

Happy Guru Purnima SMS
Happy Guru Purnima
Guru Purnima Quotes
Guru Purnima SMS
Guru Purnima Wishes

2:32 pm

 
Blogger Ranveer Patil said...

Thanks you for this post… great information.
dilwale 1st First Day Total Boc Report
dilwale friDay Worldwide Business
Income Earning

dilwale 1st 2nd 3rd day box office collection income

7:15 am

 
Blogger Mobile Storebox said...

Happy New Year
happy new year 2016
new year wishes
Happy New Year Wishes
happy new year 2016 wishes
happy new year 2016 images
new year images 2016
happy new year images
new year messages
happy new year message
happy new year images 2016
happy new years
happy new year greetings
happy new year sms
happy new year 2016 hd wallpaper

7:18 pm

 
Blogger Mobile Storebox said...

happy new year wallpaper
happy new year messages
new year 2016 wishes
happy new year wishes 2016
happy new year image
happy New Year Quotes
happy New Year wishes Quotes
www.happynewyear2016wishesimagessms.com
happy new year 2016 greetings wishes images sms
happy new years 2016
happy new year 2016 photo
wishes for new year
new year greeting cards
happy new year pictures
happy new year 2016 image

7:19 pm

 
Blogger Mobile Storebox said...

new year wallpapers
happy new year 2016 sms
new year wishes messages
happy new year picture
new years wishes
happy new year 2016 greetings
happy new year pics
happy new year 2016 pics
happy new year wallpaper 2016
new year cards 2016
happy new year pictures 2016
happy new year card
happy new year photos
happy new year 2016 photos
happy new year pic
happy new year cards 2016

7:19 pm

 
Blogger Ranveer Patil said...

This is great do you have a catologue if so I would love one to share with friends and family.
bookmyshow t20 WC tickets buy online
ICC T20 World Cup 2016 Qualifier venues starting
date time

10:31 am

 
Blogger The Youth Magazine said...



ICC World T20 2016 Schedule

World T20 2016 Schedule


ICC World T20 2016 timetable

11:49 am

 
Blogger Karan Arora said...

Mother’s Day Clipart Images
Mother’s Day Greetings Quotes
Mother’s Day Short Poems

3:43 pm

 
Blogger Somnath Roy said...

Does anyone know when will Apple iPhone 8 launch?

7:58 am

 
Blogger Ram Naresh said...

Father's Day Quotes
Father's Day Lovely Quotes
2016 Fathers Day Messages
Fathers Day Lovely Quotes

3:39 pm

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Neet result 2016
Neet result 2016
IPL 2017 schedule
IPL 2017 Points Table
VIVO IPL 2017
Fifa 2018

7:21 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Check Your Neet Result Here

5:45 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

With ShareIt for PC you can send files straight to your Android or iPhone wirelessly with no trouble. Shareit for PC

8:28 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get The Prisma Android here

10:35 am

 
Blogger Best Blogger Templates said...

happy valentines day2017

ipl schedule 2017
happy new year 2017
images
happy new year 2017
happy valentine day quotes
happy new year quotes

11:18 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shareit Apk is an application which has removed the different medium of transfer between devices. Shareit for PC

8:02 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To Get Shareit for PC Download here

12:44 pm

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you ever needed to transfer files from one device to another then you need to download the SHAREit app. SHAREit for PC

11:09 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lenovo SHAREit for PC is the best solution to transfer data from one to another device. SHAREit for PC

1:41 pm

 
Anonymous CBSE RESULT 2017 said...

CBSE Results 2017

CBSE 10th Result 2017

CBSE 12th Result 2017

2:48 pm

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, you can get SHAREit for PC officially without any problem. SHAREit for PC

10:00 am

 
Blogger francisstephen said...

keralaresults.nic.in

karresults.nic.in

tnresults.nic.in

pue.kar.nic.in

10:30 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To Check CBSE Result 2017 Download Here

11:45 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To Check CBSE 10th Results 2017 Download Here

11:46 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To Check CBSE 12th Result Download Here

11:47 am

 
Anonymous CBSE RESULT said...

Very much interesting to read such a nice a posting / article

CBSE Result

CBSE 10th Class Result

CBSE 12th Class Result

6:47 pm

 
Blogger Blackmart Apk said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

3:19 am

 
Blogger Blackmart Apk said...


happy new year in chinese
happy new year wishes in telugu
happy new year in marathi
happy new year in chinese
happy new year wishes in telugu
happy new year in marathi
happy new year in chinese
happy new year wishes in telugu
happy new year in marathi

happy new year in chinese
happy new year wishes in telugu
happy new year in marathi


3:19 am

 
Blogger Blackmart Apk said...




You’re so interesting! I don’t believe I’vegarageband for windows
truly read through anything like that before.blogger-template So
good to discoverBlackmart alpha apk
someone with genuine thoughts on thisgarageband for windows
issue. Seriously.. many thanks for starting this up. Blackmart alpha apk
This website is one thing that is needed on the web, someone with a little originality!

5:04 am

 
Anonymous cbse results2017 said...

check your results cbse 10th results

12:38 pm

 
Blogger Rajat Kukkar said...

Top 5 Super Bowl Commercials of Super Bowl 50

Most Controversial Super Bowl Commercials

Best Super Bowl Commercials of all time

Super Bowl Commercials Cats

Top 10 Super Bowl 50 Tech Commercials

Most Popular Super Bowl Commercials

USA Today Super Bowl Commercials

Most Memorable Super Bowl Ads of all Time

How many ads are in the Super

Bowl?
Who Bought Super Bowl 2017 Commercials?
Super Bowl 51 Advertisers
Meet all the Advertisers of Super Bowl LI
Toyota Bows Out of 2017 Super Bowl
Kia First Automaker to Confirm 2017 Super Bowl Ad
Avocados from Mexico will advertise on 2017's Super Bowl
youtube super bowl commercials
usa today super bowl commercials
upcoming super bowl commercials

2:40 pm

 
Blogger Musicon said...

thevoice2017.com
thevoice USA 2017
thevoice UK 2017
thevoice Australia 2017
IPL Season 10

12:46 pm

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

IPL 2017 SCHEDULE
IPL 2017 AUCTION
IPL 2017 NEWS

10:28 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Students can check sslc result 2017 from here.

5:19 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

kseeb board will release the karnataka sslc result 2017 soon.

5:19 am

 
Blogger Aelogs LLP said...

Check Karnataka 2nd PUC Result publish and exams conduct by KSEEB Here at 2nd PUC Result
Central Board of Secondary Education Announce 10th results online here at CBSE 10th Result
Kerala, Karnataka and Tamilnadu SSLC Result Publishing on SSLC Result

KSEEB Board Announce karnataka 10th results here at Karnataka SSLC Result
Kerala State Education Board declare Kerala 10th result 2017 online at Kerala SSLC Result

Tamil Nadu School Education Department publishing Tamil Nadu 10th Result online at Tamilnadu SSLC Result
Hero Indian Super League for all the latest from India's newest and most exciting football league on ISL 2017

7:59 pm

 
Blogger Shiva reddy said...


Great post. Thankyou for sharing this post.

Watch IPL Live Score ,IPL Scorecard , IPL Latest News & IPL 2017 Schedule


Good Friday Images
| Good Friday 2017 | Good Friday Images 2017 | Good Friday Images Download


Ganesh Chaturthi Wishes | Ganesh Chaturthi images | Ganesh Chaturthi 2017 | Ganesh Chaturthi Images 2017

5:53 am

 
Blogger Event mine said...



teddy day images
hug day images2017
kiss day images2017
chocolate day quotes2017
teddy day wishes2017
hug day wishes2017
kiss day wallpapers2017
chocolate day wallpapers2017
teddy day quotes2017
hug day quotes2017
kiss day quotes2017
chocolate day images2017
happy holi images
happy mothers day images
happy holi wishes
valentines day quotes 2017

6:58 pm

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get PSEB 10th Result here

12:18 pm

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get 2nd puc result 2017 here

5:22 am

 
Blogger TopTrendz Today said...

Checkout the complete IPL2017 schedule here

8:55 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get 2nd puc result 2017 here

12:18 pm

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Students can check nios 10th results 2017 here.

10:40 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Students can check tn sslc results 2017 here.

6:17 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How to get odisha chse result at official website?

10:48 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Students can check tn sslc results 2017 here.

7:17 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get PSEB 10th Result here

10:47 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get 2nd puc result 2017 here

10:56 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get PSEB 10th Result here

9:43 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How to get odisha chse result at official website?

8:14 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get 2nd puc result 2017 here

12:15 pm

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Students can check tn sslc results 2017 here.

7:14 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Click here to get ssc result 2017

5:48 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Get PSEB 10th Result here

10:09 am

 
Blogger Rahul Lokhande said...

Neet Admit Card 2017
NEET 2017 Hall Ticket Download
Neet 2017 Latest News
Neet UG 2017 Results
Neet Result 2017

3:48 pm

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SSLC Result Karnataka will be declare on the 1st may of April 2017. Students can check the results online.

6:52 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...


- TN SSLC Result will be declare on the 2nd week of May 2017. Students can check the results online.

6:55 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

CBSE Results is going to declare soon on cbseresults.nic.in and cbseresults-co.in
cbse result 
cbse results 2017
cbse 10th result 2017
cbse 12th results 2017
cbseresults.nic.in 

6:55 am

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you searching for best 4k television? Here is it.

11:17 am

 
Blogger Balvinder Singh said...

Indian Navy 10+2 B.Tech Cadet Entry 2017

7:04 am

 
Anonymous roy sam said...

Wow great article. Thanks for sharing! montana scholarship details., Internet Marketing Scholarship

6:29 am

 
Blogger Nikshit Narula said...

Awesome Post! Check out Happy Diwali Facebook Status
Also download latest movie PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES 2017
Also Read trending Story Modern Society
Also Check out Latest vacancy of Government Job BPSC Job 2017

11:07 am

 
Blogger ISL 2017 Football Followers Fan said...

This one is really an interesting article. You really did a great decision. Never Give Up on your goals bro. Keep Rocking. Have a great day. Here is the link-

ISL is one of the top football leagues in India

Indian Super League ISL 2017 Schedule, Squads, Fixtures

Watch ISL 2017 Live Streaming online in HD | TV Telecast Free

{*Top*} Atlético de Kolkata| Indian Super League ISL 2017

ISL Final Result| Indian Super League Football Goals Videos

2:33 pm

 

Post a Comment

<< Home