Ex-communication

Exes.
Don't like 'em.
(Some of them I actually do like, but for the purposes of this post I am going to generalize and pretend I hate them all.)
There are certain things that someone can do or say which make you put down your book/candyfloss/swarthy Italian man and say, hang on, just wait a minute there cowboy. What the HELL was I doing with (insert name of ex here)? Why did I waste my time with this pathetic excuse for a human person? At which precise point did I lose all respect for myself? Who exactly IS this swarthy Italian and why have I been carrying him around with me all day? (That happened to anyone else? No? Just me? Ah.)

So the trigger for this is not actually one of my own experiences, although I am relatively certain that I'll find some way to slide one in there at some point.
My friend, let's call her Sally (her name isn't Sally. Don't worry, Gemma, all identities have been chang.. oh.. shit..ah fuck that).
Anyway she's just split up with her boyfriend of three years and they were living together so with that there are all the logistical troubles to add to the emotional ones. It's tricky. Now my friend Sal-emma (that's code, by the way) is being very brave, very soldierish. She knows that it is for the best and she knows he wasn't good enough for her. He wasn't. She's beautiful, a real bombshell, vivacious, funny, well-dressed. She has AMAZING hair. Sometimes I lie awake at night trying to work out a cunning way of stealing her hair and attaching it to my own head without her noticing, but so far, well, since I eliminated the Grand Sellotape Plan, I have had nothing.
Anyway, I digress.
I stayed at her house last night (yes, that was step one of the GS Plan, but I chose not to implement it, given the circumstances) and we went into her bedroom armed with some Jack Daniels and some serious swear-words to use in an ex-boyfriend slamming way, and there was a letter on her bed.
She picked it up while I was shaking up the Diet Coke (I live on the edge and embrace risk). She sat and read it slowly, her face going all still and kind of blank. I stood watching her read and as she got to near the bottom her nostrils started to flare. Now, anyone that knows Gem-ly knows that this is a Bad Sign. It's literally a physical manifestation of her hatred and I have seen it before, but rarely and with consequences.

It turned out that her ex had written loads and loads of really patronising CRAP in this letter.. I quote
"the right guy's out there for you, hang in there"
Fuck you
"keep smiling, your smile's too great not to use"
And your Mum
"I'd still like it if we could go to the cinema from time to time, and if I could come to your house-warming"
And your entire extended family and all their pets

So this made her angry, pissed off, upset and all the rest. But the nostril flaring? Came at this point:
"So if you could leave my washing out for me to come and collect that'd be great, thanks."
What?
Sorry?
Huh?
Yeah sure, I'll do that. And I tell you what I'll have a great big FUCKING smile on my face while I do it, shall I?
She flew into a rage like flies fly into those buzzy blue things. Meaning that it was inevitable and made a lot of quite unpleasant noise.
So, I mean, honestly. Was he always like that, taking her for granted, making her feel unappreciated and assuming she'd always just take care of him and do stuff for him without a second thought?
Yes, apparently. Somehow she assumed that it was alright, that she just did the housework-y stuff and he just, didn't. That she got him birthday presents and cards and shit, and he just, like, didn't. Not one birthday present for those three years.
I hate exes. I have to see one of mine this weekend and I REALLY don't want to. The most recent one, the one who screwed me over. I just don't want to see him. But I have to.
Screw the exes. Lock 'em in a cage while we get on with our lives and get drunk on Jack Daniels.
You agree?