Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Girl, Uninterrupted. More's the pity.

After finding out how to successfully manipulate online personality tests so that they say what I want them to say (see two previous posts), I feel I should write something proper.

Bec has tonsillitis. I found her on the sofa this morning and she told me that one of her tonsils was green. Green is a nice colour, and I do like my trees and bushes (oh, don't be dirty) to be green, but for tonsils I suspect it is not a preferable hue.

We watched Priscilla Queen of the Desert last night, but I doubt that had anything to do with it. If anything seeing Guy Pearce in various states of undress has medicinal qualities rather than the other way around. I myself felt quite uplifted by the experience.

We had a bit of a debate surrounding the relative merits of the man from Strictly Ballroom and Guy in Priscilla. I opted for the latter, as I have only seen Strictly Ballroom once, and feel that Guy is sexier, and the fact that he is not gay in real life is a real bonus. Bec has seen Strictly Ballroom about as many times as she has The Princess Bride (which is about seventy trillion times) (loser) (althought she is ill so I have to be nice) and so feels a certain attachment to the man from it. I may have mentioned my deep, deep loathing of The Princess Bride at this juncture, but that fact was deemed irrelevant to the discussion.

(I hate The Princess Bride. I want to slap Buttercup. I am not sorry if this offends you, so deep and vehemently does my loathing run.)

Last night I also continued recording a new song, which is shaping up to be my favourite so far. I am using my software on my iMac to create it, which is exciting if somewhat painstaking. The new song is laid back jazz-style, which I like and am trying to work on more and more.

I went to the Barbican Music Library yesterday to get the sheet music for this concert I'm organising in July. It is a goldmine for all sort of exciting things. I was weighed down with music yesterday but I will certainly be making use of their extensive CD library. I also ran into my friend Belinda, which was nice.

This is not an interesting post. I am going to continue in the same vein (telling you stuff that seems neither to go anywhere nor be of any relevance to anything) for as long as I can until you throw chairs at my head.

Tonight I am going to go and meet my parents in Covent Garden at six o'clock. My Mum has hinted at a surprise birthday present! Although the hinting has been somewhat negated by us actually having discussed said birthday present at great length and them having told me when they brought it back from the USA the other week. It is more camera-shaped than magical pony-shaped.

On Sunday it'll be my other housemate ( the one with the normal-coloured tonsils) (I assume)'s* David birthday. We are going out on Friday to a place. I can't remember the name of the place, but I think it is a salsa bar. I assume they mean salsa the dance, because otherwise it could be a thoroughly messy experience. Good, though. Especially if they provide the nachos.

For the second time in a month I have turned down someone asking me out for a drink by just ignoring their text. I know this is wrong and mean but I forget to reply and then I put it off and then it's too late and I am a bitch. Hang on, shit, it's the third person. Holy crap. God. I must come across as likely to put out, or perhaps rich. Yeah, it's almost definitely the rich thing. I should stop wearing fifty pound notes as earrings.

I hope Bec is feeling better. I want to call her but then she'd have to pick up the phone and speak, and that is hurty for her. I am instead sending her telepathic images of the man from Strictly Ballroom.

Does anyone have any more good jokes, please?

*That can't be grammatically correct. It wouldn't work if I put the 's before the brackets either, so I don't know*.
* See? This is much in keeping with my promise of writing dull things! I am so good at continuity! Also at being boring.


Anonymous Adrian said...

Sorry, I only have really dismal bad sad jokes that people roll their eyes at.


How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?


Told you. Sorry.

5:39 pm

Blogger treespotter said...

*I had 16 editors to read that sentence and decide and they couldn't come up with a good grammatical decision except to go on lengthy discussion on 'normal coloured tonsils'. Two of them don't know where their tonsils are and not sure of what the supposed colour is.
I think they want to hire you.

PS: are you gonna post the song?

5:42 pm

Anonymous Pimoti said...

Sorry to lower the tone, but I'm presuming Bec's green tonsils are nothing to do with the man she brought home the other night?

Can you tell I am stuck in a hotel room and bored?

7:23 pm

Blogger Huw said...

Bear in mind that a truly magical pony could be any shape it wished, camera shaped or otherwise. So look out for that.

Rubbish Joke. I know no good ones.
-Me and The Missus had a weekend break in Poole. We took the caravan.
-In Dorset?
-Yes, I thoroughly recommend it.

8:03 pm

Blogger Ant said...

The Princess Bride is possibly the best film ever made ever.

That anyone could dislike it at all is...

... inconceivable.

8:54 pm

Anonymous Anonymous said...

How many marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

none, the light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution...

I like lightbulb jokes.

also, I like the word 'hurty'.

8:58 am

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't it 'my other housemate (....) David's birthday'?

9:37 am

Blogger Léonie said...

Lightbulb jokes. Right.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. The real question is how did they get in there?

How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


Um... That's all.

Adrian - That's why people roll their eyes at me and call me dismal.

Treespotter - I'll put the song on my other website when it's finished. Definitely.

Pimoti - This is not something that has gone unasked. I assume that she wouldn't associate with someone without checking his tonsils first, but it could be possible I suppose. Shocking, if you ask me.
I hope you manage to escape from your hotel room very soon.

Huw - Oh, I didn't think of that. Magical ponies, though, are generally benevolent creatures and wouldn't be tricksy like that.
I really, really like that joke. I may adopt it.

Ant - I have won arguments about this before, and I can do it again. The Princess Bride is my nemesis, film-wise.

Anon - Good joke. Political. Any more lightbulb ones?

9:52 am

Anonymous Adrian said...

Chuckle. I love the mouse one.

I can do light bulb jokes for ages. Well at least for about 3 minutes. Then I run out or people leave the room or something.

Hell I can even do the same joke twice.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the giraffe, the other to full the wheel barrow with brightly coloured machine tools.

I have more where that came from too ... hello ... anyone their ... helloooo ... see told you people leave.


Do like that mouse one though. I might be using that. I'll probably lie and claim it as my own though,

10:04 am

Blogger Léonie said...

Anon - Yes, you're probably right. In fact you are right.

Am resisting the temptation to go back and change it.

Adrian - That was good, bit similar to the last one, though. Variety, please.

10:31 am

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry, that's the only decent lightbulb joke in my repetoire. I did think a recent private eye cover was very clever: one side is tony blair; the other david cameron. The caption: "world's first face transplant successful!"....but maybe you had to see it.

11:34 am

Anonymous Anonymous said...

How many tories does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two - one to do it and one to steady the chandelier.

11:44 am

Anonymous Adrian said...

Umm ..

How many IT girls does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the diet coke and one to call the maid.

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but the lightbulb has really got to want to change.

How's that, any better?

11:45 am

Blogger Miss Devylish said...

I like that you said 'hurty'.. it was cute.. I hope your friend gets better soon!

Um.. and I love love love the Princess Bride.. come on.. how can you not love Inigo?!

I'm working on jokes for you, but the ADHD one rocked! Love it!

6:29 pm

Anonymous number1hypocrite said...

If you like seeing Guy Pierce in various stages of nakedness, may I suggest the movie Memento .

It also shows him in various stages of tattooage.

Warning, though. The movie will fuck with your mind.

1:08 am


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