Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Today I will mainly be sticking my fingers up at the concept of narrative.

I am doing a meme thing that Mouldy* tagged me for.

I AM twenty-four years old, a girl, a singer. In turns inspired and frustrated. Also way too self-analytical. I could stay on this question for a long time.

I WANT so much. I want to succeed, whatever that means.

I WISH I didn't worry so much.

I LOVE the feeling I get when I sing something I have written.

I FEAR that I am not brave enough to tackle things head on.

I HEAR music from the radio in the background, at the moment. My hearing is fine, I think. Normal. I am, however, one of those people who, at the beginning of a film, turns the volume up even before anything has been said. This is peculiar behaviour.

I WONDER what will happen to me, but I know that whatever happens to me will, with some exceptions, be dictated by my own actions.

I REGRET rarely. The only thing I regret is the time when, as an eighteen year old, I remained in Paris for two months longer than I should've done, on my own with hardly any friends and raging depression, because I was too ashamed to admit that I wanted to come home.

I DANCE crazily. When I'm in the mood. Sometimes I can keep going for hours and hours, provided I'm wearing the right shoes. I love that feeling.

I CRY out of frustration, or because I am overwhelmed.

I CONFUSE people sometimes, because I am totally relaxed with people I've just met. I repsond to people I don't know just like I do to people I do, and this is confusing to some people. Actually it confuses me sometimes, too. I'm an embarrassment to myself and to my friends and family (particularly if you add the crazy dancing).

I TAG everybody (such a cop-out, I know).

I did nothing this weekend. In a lovely way. I had the best pizza ever on Saturday. I haven't had take-away pizza since university, which was about two years ago, so it was much-anticipated and lived wholeheartedly up to expectations. The weekend was lovely.

Bec has gone to Portugal, so it's just the two of us in the flat this week. Well, three if you include the mouse, which I most certainly do. It obviously read my post on Friday as it has been scarce all weekend. It touches me that my humble e-scribblings have reached even the mouscular community, although I am slightly surprised that there have been no apologetic comments or gifts of cheese ordered from Amazon in my name.

I posted an ad on Gumtree last week to find musicians to work with, and have had some responses which I am going to follow up. I'm also trying to organise this weekend in terms of rehearsals for the concert in July. Plan for this week: Sort Life Out.

Also: Start Holiday Diet (probably eschewing pizza as a general rule of thumb.)

Also: Go to Topshop with my Topshop vouchers, which amount to about forty five quid. I have got to the stage where I perform the "I've got nothing to weeeeear" song every single morning, with a bridge of "why do I have no moneeeeeey?" and a few choruses of "how it sucks to be meeeeee" thrown in for good measure.

(A quick interlude while I remember: Pub - I wanted to say that I work about two seconds from the Dragon Bar. I would love to meet your friend! How would I do that?)

This has been a mixed up sort of a post.

I want to finish it by telling you something interesting, but interesting things are insisting upon being elusive to me today.

I will tell you that my eyelash and eyebrow tinting are working very well, and that I no longer feel like the lovechild of Frida Kahlo and Groucho Marx (looking forward to the Google hits on that one). I find that the eyelash tinting is good, but that I still wear mascara for volume and thickness of the lash. I like talking about these things in the singular, it makes me feel like I'm on a beauty programme ("mmm...yah... this colour really complements the shape of the lip/curve of the buttock/hue of the kidney...").

Enjoy your Tuesday, and try not to spend it dreaming of big, thick, pepperoni-riddled pizzas as I fear I might.

*http://thoughtsofmouldy.blogspot.com/

12 Comments:

Anonymous Impish little sister said...

I do ALL those things too- isn't it funny!

don't wish today away lally bunny ; ; ; ; ; ; (rabbit paw prints)

can you send me a pizza??

and, have you got the friday off work?? xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

2:41 pm

 
Blogger Dancinfairy said...

Now I really want pizza with chesse stuffed crust. Mmmmmmmmm.

2:47 pm

 
Blogger Léonie said...

Imp - Of course you do all those things Sophie, we are the same except that you live in Foreign and have blonde hair.

I haven't yet got the Friday off, but I will, I promise.

If I see any pizza I'll send it to you, but it might be a bit squished by the time it gets to Paris.

Also, how did you get the rabbits to type for you? Whenever I ask them to they just look at me quizzically and then frisk me for carrots.

DF - I know. Pizza cravings are infectious. Those Italians are cunning bastards.

2:55 pm

 
Anonymous Adrian said...

Surely if something is complimenting the hue of your kidney you have bigger problems than makeup?

6:59 pm

 
Blogger monkey typist said...

yum, ok now i want pizza...

reading this just reminded me of the dragon bar, 'we' had an exhibition there...however long ago, and it was so nice and summery and drunken. ahh, i miss london...

10:44 pm

 
Blogger Adz said...

It is only 8.35am but I am dreaming of eating pizza already! mmmm

8:43 am

 
Blogger Curly said...

The 'I CONFUSE' section - I can't think of anything that else you could put after that, 'Other People' seems to be a good answer, the only other option is 'Myself'. Or dogs, maybe.

I confuse dogs.

It's got a certain ring to it.

10:35 am

 
Blogger Léonie said...

Adrian - Well yes, but if you take care of the small things then the big things take care of themselves. I heard that somewhere and now apply it to all matters. SO if I take care to make up my face immaculately, the gaping, kidney-exposing wound on my back will sort itself out. See? Perfect logic.

Monkey - The Dragon Bar is cool. I love London, too. I miss it on your behalf. Although I live here.

Adz - Me too. If I shut my eyes I can see pizzas doing tantalising dances to try and lure me off my diet.

Curly - How does one confuse a dog? Perhaps by asking it to do some really hard sums and then some complicated needlepoint. I think an experiment is in order.

11:12 am

 
Anonymous Adrian said...

You could patent that and sell it do hospitals and paramedics. You could be Leonie, the life saving make up girl.

11:54 am

 
Blogger Mouldy said...

The film volume thing is quite normal (I do it anyway)!

Can you blog more about the Edinburgh festival please.

5:17 pm

 
Blogger Miss Devylish said...

Your morning song of clothing disparity is something I go thru lately a lot.. and it made me laugh thinking of you singing it and then how I will probably now sing it and copy you like usual.

I wished a mouse-eating pony for you.. did you see?

And pizza.. mm.. haven't had it for ages and then had it twice in the last 2 weeks. Mmmm!

6:26 pm

 
Blogger Pub said...

I'll give Tamar a call and find out when she's working at the Dragon and let you know. You won't be able to miss her, she's the gorgeous one with the curly hair. I'll tell her to look out for you.

Her myspace is www.myspace.com/oddjobworldfunk - I'll pass on your site to her so she can check your stuff

10:07 am

 

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