Sunday, February 06, 2011

If You Like Childish Whining, You'll Love This Post!

The rain just won't stop falling. There is all this bloody weather going on and I feel well and truly under it.

Under darkened skies I trudged for ages today, alongside a duel carriageway. All the cars careened hilariously past, all bright lights and Radio 1 (I expect). I muttered unwarranted obscenities at them but they didn't care. After fifteen minutes of trudging I remembered the umbrella in my bag, and so put it up, only for it to flap wildly about like a oversized stick insect having a fit. I wrapped it back up. My boots chose that moment to dramatically stop being waterproof.

Maybe I would be no drier on my bike, but probably I would be less wet for less long. Being a cyclist is more fun than being a pedestrian. At least when cycling I can look forward to a few thrilling brushes with death under the wheels of a Preston-bound Megabus. The only danger with walking is that I might get so bored I attempt to ram my umbrella down my throat.

I will get my bike fixed when I get some money through, but until then I will be sporting worn-down boots and a frayed temper.

Probably I am totally fine, but I feel a very strong urge to throw things and sneer at innocent creatures. If the cat was still alive I would definitely be showering him with scathing comments whilst stroking him in case he did really understand English. (I wouldn't have put it past him.) As it is I can either be really mean to Ben, which I don't want to as I am fairly sure that he actually does understand English, and anyway he is making me dinner, or find some other way of venting. I am casting about with narrowed eyes to find something to soak up my crossness, but nothing is presenting itself.


Probably this is why people have children.


Oh, I give up. The world is stupid. If there is an innocent creature in your vicinity, please swear at it for me. Thanks.

2 Comments:

Blogger Miss Devylish said...

You should know that tho this is way late.. I always curse at innocent things w/ you in mind on your crossest days. So. That was taken care of. And if you need a cat to talk meanly to while petting, Ms. Emma has volunteered. As long as you pet her, and don't bring round noisy plastic bags, you can say whatever you want. xo

9:35 am

 
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