If You Like Childish Whining, You'll Love This Post!

The rain just won't stop falling. There is all this bloody weather going on and I feel well and truly under it.

Under darkened skies I trudged for ages today, alongside a duel carriageway. All the cars careened hilariously past, all bright lights and Radio 1 (I expect). I muttered unwarranted obscenities at them but they didn't care. After fifteen minutes of trudging I remembered the umbrella in my bag, and so put it up, only for it to flap wildly about like a oversized stick insect having a fit. I wrapped it back up. My boots chose that moment to dramatically stop being waterproof.

Maybe I would be no drier on my bike, but probably I would be less wet for less long. Being a cyclist is more fun than being a pedestrian. At least when cycling I can look forward to a few thrilling brushes with death under the wheels of a Preston-bound Megabus. The only danger with walking is that I might get so bored I attempt to ram my umbrella down my throat.

I will get my bike fixed when I get some money through, but until then I will be sporting worn-down boots and a frayed temper.

Probably I am totally fine, but I feel a very strong urge to throw things and sneer at innocent creatures. If the cat was still alive I would definitely be showering him with scathing comments whilst stroking him in case he did really understand English. (I wouldn't have put it past him.) As it is I can either be really mean to Ben, which I don't want to as I am fairly sure that he actually does understand English, and anyway he is making me dinner, or find some other way of venting. I am casting about with narrowed eyes to find something to soak up my crossness, but nothing is presenting itself.


Probably this is why people have children.


Oh, I give up. The world is stupid. If there is an innocent creature in your vicinity, please swear at it for me. Thanks.