Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Empty As A Pocket With Nothing To Lose

That title has no relevance to this post, but it is one of my favourite lyrics of all time, and it has been whirring around my head all day.

My Diet. She is going very well. I am considerably thinner than I was yesterday, and have had to buy a whole new wardrobe in order for my clothes not to fall right off me. (Although buy me a drink and we might still be able to arrange that) (Just kidding) (Although make it good Champagne and we'll talk.)

Last night I was in a pub and I drank water all night. Don't get me wrong, it was of the sparkling mineral variety. I may be On A Diet but that doesn't mean I'm not still fancy.

Part of the reason for my abstinence last night was the nature of the meeting I was having last night. It was a discussion about music, about my music to be more specific. The long and short of it is that I am going to have my album produced for me. My album. Written by me. Not some pseudo-big-shot writer/producer/sleaze chap who will allow me to change a single lyric from 'glove' to 'love', perhaps suggest a couple of harmonies for the backing vocals and then cut off any further creative rights. No, the majority of the songs will have been penned and performed by me, and the others will be collaborations. There is more to this project than that, and in fact the album production aspect is my incentive for getting involved in the rest of it. Which is exciting in itself, so it isn't really a compromise to be on board with.

We'll see. It's nothing to do with the music video next Thursday, which I am excited about in a different way. In a well, it's not going to change my life but how very cool sort of way as opposed to a fucking hell this might actually be something one. Thanks, Pimoti, for your useful sneaky tip in the last comments. I shall stock up. My mother would be cross with me (she is a nutritionist, and therefore disapproves of redbull), but I am rebellious and a bit hip, so I will therefore do it anyway. Afterwards I shall confess all to her in a great tangle of snot and tears, but up until that point I shall be just streamlined and svelte, and ultra cool.

I don't understand something, also. People have been commenting less and less, and yet when I check my sitemeter it reports that numbers of people actually reading have not diminished. (I know this is Not The Point and I shouldn't be bothered about comments and things but I am, whatever.) So what is it? Is it that my posts leave people completely uninspired? Or perhaps that people are so overawed by my depth of perception that they are gobsmacked? Or is it, and I suspect this might be the real reason, that I never reply to comments, because I am a bit of a mean and cold-hearted cow underneath this finely polished veneer of a smooth, highly creative and unnervingly beautiful-in-a-fragile-but-strong-way lady from the Home Counties? It's that, isn't it? Not the second bit, although I can assure you that my delicate fragility sometimes stuns people so much that perfect strangers have been known to walk past me in the street without saying a word.

It's just that I always start to write replies to comments and then I suffer from a bout of under-confidence and delete them. Then I feel guilty. For some reason I suffer much more from Isoundlikeaknob-itis when writing comments than I do when writing all kinds of unspeakable drivel here.

I am way too hot still. Luckily this evening I am going for a swimbeque at Tom's house (not the mansion in Islington [read: Holloway Road] but the one in Twickenham). In case you are not familiar with the concept of a swimbeque I will tell you, it is a barbeque where you get to swim because there is a pool. Do NOT EVER swim just after the barbeque because you will certainly get cramp and die, probably. A swimbeque, therefore, is a dangerous sport, like extreme barbequing, but I am going to brave it because I have been hotter than Satan's electric blanket for about six brazillion years now and it's really starting to grate.

My chair is sticking to me. It's my fault, really, because I'm wearing a short skirt, but I can still complain. Mainly because I just can, because I say so.

(Things I am electing not to blog about today, number 7 in a series of 329,758: How there was cake just now, in the office, and I had a teeny, tiny, inconsequential bit just to see what it tasted like. Answer: Oh, dreamy.)

I have to stop typing now because I strongly fear that this blog will slide rapidly from a Diet Blog to an I Love Cake Blog.

(Aside: That whole issue from the update yesterday is all sorted. I no longer want to think about it.)


Anonymous Adrian said...

So with respect to the comments. I really really enjoy your blog, and love reading it. And I do check for updates and comments.

But your posts are really long. And normally, on a quiet day, cover like 16 different topics and threads. On a busy day, 168 topics. In one post.

So I don't know which bit to comment on sometimes, and even though I am know for being a big commentor (loud mouth I am), I sometimes just don't know which bit to say and what to comment on.

Take yesterday for example. I was going to comment on the diet bit, as I lost a lot of weight a few years ago and have some great and sensible dieting tips. But by the time I came to comment, the was the other bit (which we wont speak about), and then my dieting comments looked a bit stupid. So I just didn't comment.

The other bit it you write fantastically, and sometimes all I have to comment is "That's really great" or some such. Which looks a bit stupid. So I don't comment.

So in short. It's not you, it's me.

5:10 pm

Blogger treespotter said...

hi there, it's me again. on the commenting thingy: i'm guessing you are right. people don't leave comment because you ignore them (was gonna quote the adjectives-in-between-dashes-that-i-always-think-is-cool but can't remember at the moment - can't be bothered with the missing dashes there).

Now, what you should do is reply with a totally out-of-the-way-slightly-slutty-flirty-friendly reply to me and everybody in the world will be jealous of me and try to out do me with even longer dashed adjectives.

then i'm off to trallalala land.

5:39 pm

Blogger The Boy said...

First - Album getting produced? V. cool.

Second - V. small bits of cake are allowed. Better one small bit and a happy guilt than a glutinous bit because the frustration built too much

Third - Comments, Uhmm, what adrian said. Love the blog, and the style is why I keep coming back to read. But... too many things to comment about, so I don't. Sorry!

6:04 pm

Anonymous Angela said...

Actually I quite agree with Adrian... as I'm reading I just about always have comments for each section of your post but then when I start to write out my comment it gets longer... and longer... and longer... And I don't want to be guilty of hijacking your post with my idiotic comments on each individual portion of your life, but then I can't decide which portion to comment on and so then I just delete the whole stinking thing and say aloud to myself, "Well done, Leonie, lovely post." I also write very long run on sentences.

And see, even for this one, there are other things I was going to comment on, but I've already been yapping on and on for quite long enough so I'm cutting myself off now!

6:59 pm

Blogger Jonathan said...

You are the second blog I have read today that has mentioned cake in the office. I am sure it was good cake as all cake is good cake.
I go through times when I dont comment on people's blogs and I am not sure why. So, here is my comment.
And your album getting produced, made recorded is awesome. Congratulations!

7:21 pm

Blogger Simon said...

What style of music do you do?

(My pay-the-mortgage-job is a music producer/writer.)

8:40 am

Blogger Pub said...

Dear slinky musician girl (sorry, the word slinky just popped into my head and I had to use it). Congratulations on the album news. Put me down for a copy (then I won't have to steal the freebie tracks from your website).

And remember, cake is bad mmmmmkay?

9:13 am

Blogger Geordie_bloke said...

I think your blog is terrific and get very excited when you've posted some new stuff. The reason I don't (normally) comment though is that you write so flaming well that it would make my measly comments look dull and trite. (I have the same mental block with Galateas blog). Try writing a little less well and I will be happy to comment more.

9:42 am

Blogger gilmic said...

[insert here a clever variation of what everyone else has commented already...]
i take too long thinking up insightful and witty comments so i usually give up.
i do always enjoy reading your blog.
and congrats on the albumn.

10:24 am

Blogger Curly said...

I'm going to giggle with glee and twiddle my fingers with excitement if this starts drifting towards the "I love cake" side of things - I enjoy seeing people just giving in and taking the easy way out, it just reminds me of Star Wars. And we all know what happened to Darth Vader, don't we kids? Hmnmm.

Of course, I'm not saying that you will take that particular path.

1:04 pm

Anonymous Impish little sister said...

oh mr.léonie head thats great news!!!

maybe you should make a deal with us lowly readers that for every 10 comments you'll update the post?!

more léonie!!

sorry you're stuck to your chair, will you have to take it swimming with you?

love imp xxxxxxxxx

2:09 pm

Blogger Mouldy said...

Forgive me. What song is this line from? Its driving me mad!

4:20 pm

Blogger Léonie said...

Oh, Adrian, that's what they all say. I never really noticed how many topics I race through in each post. I must have a short attention sp...

Treespotter - Look! I am not ignorning you! Granted, I'm not flirting, either, but the not ignoring is a good start, I think.

Boy - Hurray for small bits of cake!

Angela - Don't cut yourself off. You chat as much as you want to. And thanks for saying that out loud, I will be listening intently from now on.

Jonathan - It was good cake. It was lemon cake. I am now dreaming about cake.

Simon - I write and sing jazz/folk/acoustic stuff. I am going to upload it onto my other website as soon as I can. What do you do?

Pub - Oh, yes, I like to be called slinky. It sounds cat-like to me.

Geordie Bloke - I know, I always feel shy about commenting. Thank you for coming out now, though.

Gilmic - Thanks. And hello! You're new!

Curly - I cannot believe you are encouraging me to step across to the dark (chocolate gateau) side.

Imp - Thanks Mr Sophie Head. I shall call you soon. Hope Paris is a joy and not as sticky as London.

Mouldy - Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes, Paul Simon.

4:52 pm

Anonymous Pumpkin Eater said...

I'm much more comfortable lurking than leaving comments, sorry :(

However as I have briefly de-lurked I would like to congratulate you on a most splendiferous blog :D

9:58 pm

Blogger La Chou said...

What diet are you partaking of that causes you to lose weight at such amazing rates? Is it the sparkling water that causes such miracles?

10:45 pm

Blogger Simon said...

leonie, I write music for TV at the moment, with my partner (but that includes songs). We had some success as a band back in the 90s, worked for Trevor Horn, with Alex Patterson (the Orb), was signed to Yello's indie label for a while then turned to TV music to make a living.

My partner is writing some folk/jazz/accoustic stuff at the moment, intended for an album.

Look forward to hearing your stuff.

10:06 am

Blogger Mouldy said...

Forgot to say this yesterday. I too am in a new diet regime. Can we be diet buddies? Please?

And the reason people don't comment on your wonderous blog is unknown and perhaps unknowable. Don't let it put you off, my dear.

1:28 pm

Blogger Dancinfairy said...

Well, asking why people don't comment certainly gets you a lot of comments!

I have had less comments recently. I am blaming it on the heat which is by the way to blame for everything at the moment.

I think I go with the majority here. I write a comment and it is on one bit of your post but it seems too small for a big post. Or I am at work and I am not really allowed to be doing this so I don't get a chance.

Love impish sister's idea. Kinda like pimping your writing for payment in comments. (I use the word pimping in the nicest possible way.

2:50 pm

Blogger Dancinfairy said...

Well, asking why people don't comment certainly gets you a lot of comments!

I have had less comments recently. I am blaming it on the heat which is by the way to blame for everything at the moment.

I think I go with the majority here. I write a comment and it is on one bit of your post but it seems too small for a big post. Or I am at work and I am not really allowed to be doing this so I don't get a chance.

Love impish sister's idea. Kinda like pimping your writing for payment in comments. (I use the word pimping in the nicest possible way.

2:51 pm

Anonymous Mr Angry said...

I don't do comments.

3:52 pm

Anonymous Jamie said...

Great stuff - veh funny. At the last office I worked in, in Soho, for some reason the entire staff was OBSESSED with M&S Lemon Drizzle cake. By the time I left I was at least half a stone heavier, and a good deal lemonier.

5:28 pm

Blogger Miss Devylish said...

You are very much still fancy, that's for sure..

I love the swimbeque idea! And thanks for the warning on the swimming after - tho no one has a pool in Seattle.. so there's no worries.

And I always stick to chairs on hot days when wearing my skirts. The worst is sitting on your hot driver's seat not realizing the sun was baking it while you were shopping! Ow!

Ew.. hate Red Bull.. but hey, more for you dearie!


2:27 am


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