Various Things Of Little To No Interest

A Few Of The Ways In Which I Have Made A Cock Of Myself In The Last Twenty-Four Hours:

This morning, on my way to the train station.
When I slipped over on my (admittedly impractical) heels and grazed my knee, laddering my tights in the process. I was back on my feet with the type of startled rapidity that only happens when one stacks it dramatically in a public place. Blushingly brushing aside the amused concern of the onlookers, I marched off quickly as if to demonstrate that, usually, I am capable of moving from one place to another without making a complete cocking spectacle of myself.

Yesterday, at Temping.
A man I had spoken to a few times, and who just happens to be rather attractive, smiled twinklingly at me from across the office. Instead of smiling elegantly and demurely back, I grinned boisterously and did an exaggerated double thumbs-up sign. I am a cock.


Just Now.
When I told someone I had only just met that I fell over this morning on the way to the station and that's why my tights are laddered a bit, look just here on my knee, just in case you were wondering. She quite palpably didn't care and had by no means been wondering, and therefore thought (and some might say fairly accurately) that I was a bit of a cock. I trailed off and probably cracked some terrible joke, before skulking off to sullenly pick at the scab forming on my knee.


****

A lady just now said "Ooh, you're a singer? Have you been on That X-Factor then?" before following it up magnificently by asking "So does anyone else say you're a singer? Or is it just you? Ha ha ha! You wouldn't want to face That Simon Cowell now, would you? Ha ha ha!"
I ha-ha-ed politely back at her before making a swift exit, during which you will be pleased to find out that I maintainted an almost wholly upright position.

****

I still have not lost my phone again! It has been more than two weeks. I am improving. Perhaps I am finally growing up.

****

As a direct result of writing the above statement I am almost certain to lose my phone within the space of the next three hours. How annoying. Brace yourselves for the inevitable post of phone-related panic, despair and self-loathing.