Let's all join in - and a whinge.

Just look at this. I LOVED it.

I'm going to make one and I think you should too.

UPDATE:

I feel ill. I feel like I need to be collected from my current location in a big car made of pillows and gently carried back to my bed. My head aches. My throat feels like someone is squeezing it. My chest might as well have a big boot-print on it. I can't see very well and my fingers keep hitting the wrong buttons so that I'm making twice as many typos as usual. Also? My tongue hurts. I don't know why and I'll have none of those lewd thoughts here, thank you very much. My back hurts. My ears hurt. I HURT.

Ay, me.

It's either a bad cold or an as yet unidentifiable disease that manifests itself in the same ways as a bad cold but is much worse and hurtier.

Will you book me a pillow-taxi, please? You don't need an address, just address it to 'The Girl Standing In A Pool Of Her Own Snot, London'.

Sniff.

UPDATE:

I'm off sick.

I HATE being off sick. I feel like I'm skiving. I feel like I don't deserve to eat anything because I haven't done anything. I feel like my parents think I'm making it up because I'm lazy. I feel like maybe I AM making it up because I'm lazy. I feel like I should be outside, enjoying "one of those absolutely GLORIOUS summer days" that my mother thinks I should be revelling in, instead of sitting slumped on the sofa, trawling through Sky to find some re-run of something to watch.

I find that the self-loathing overtakes the ill feeling. Or maybe they join forces to create some sort of uber-yuckiness.

Physically I'm feeling a little better, which is good because I can NEVER take more than one day off sick, because the guilt gets too much to bear.

Maybe it comes from when I was little and I had to get up, no matter how ill I was, to do my cello practice for the required twenty-five minutes each day. Yeah, that'll be some of my personal, own-brand pop-psychoanalysis there for you. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, sorry.

Right, I'm going to go and find some American soap to watch that will make me feel fat, ugly and badly dressed.