Complaining

I have a few complaints, so I will get those over with and then see whether I can think of anything else to say.

Complaint Number 1: (Directed at Old Lady On Tube)

You are old and somewhat incapacitated. I understand this. The grey hair and wispy beard and also the walking stick strongly indicate this. Being old and somewhat incapacitated, therefore, it is your right to sit down on the tube. People should arise and let you sit and rest your old and somewhat incapacitated limbs.

It is not your right, however, to shout in my ear and whack me in the back with your walking stick. Especially if I am standing up facing away from you, so I do not see it coming and might nearly have a heart attack from the shock.

Nobody has the right to be needlessly violent, Old Lady On Tube, and being old and somewhat incapacitated does not exempt you from this rule.

Complaint Number 2: (directed at Sainsbury's supermarket)

Please refrain from selling hot cross buns at two packets of twelve for a pound, as it will cause me to a) buy and b) eat twenty-four hot cross buns. With melted butter and jam. Do not rely on my willpower to prevent me from doing this, please. I am the girl who eats Nutella out of the jar with a spoon/my finger/old ladies' walking sticks.

Complaint Number 3: (directed at my money)

Where are you, please? Come back at once and stop playing these ridiculous games that involve you pretending you are not in my bank account. It's not big and it's not clever.

Complaint Number 4: (directed at Thursday)

I am cross with you because you are not Friday. This is naughty of you, and you must consider yourself reprimanded.

That's it.

Perhaps it's an update-y sort of a day today.