Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Oh, This Is A Terrible Post, So It Deserves A Terrible Title

In the interests of summing up I am going to write a series of bullet points for your delectation. This may be impeded by a) the fact that I have not typed anything since Wednesday and my fingers feel all seized up, and b) I have no idea what I want to write.

Point b) is not a feeling with which I feel entirely unfamiliar.

- When I say 'bullet points' I mean dashes. Just to be clear.

- I have submitted my application form for the Talent Search Thing Which Is Most Definitely Not (Repeat NOT) Pop Idol Or The X Factor Although Yes It Has Certain Similarities. If over the weekend you passed a drunk-looking girl mumbling something about raindrops on kittens and whiskers on roses, you may well have encountered one of my intensive rehearsal sessions. I drink to forget the pain of entering myself for a reality TV show.

- I will not divulge what I put on the form. It was very sincere. Laughter, tears, something for everyone.

- On Wednesday early evening I went to the ballet at the Royal Opera House with my friend Chris, because we are both very cultured and highly sophisticated. In the intervals we stood and drank overpriced drinks on the terrace overlooking Covent Garden as Chris tried to find a suitably shockable old lady to ask whether the male dancers stuff the backs of their leotards to make their arses look bigger. Because we are cultured and highly sophisitcated. It was beautiful, though. I mean the ballet itself, and also the view from the top of the Royal Opera house. The male ballet dancers' arses were just, quite frankly, a little intimidating.

- Later on that evening I went to have some drinks. With someone else. It was (how to put this?) mutually interesting. We got drunk in a pub in Soho and things were said. I think. I was drunk.

- I will come back to that. Perhaps. Probably in a very roundabout sort of a way.

- Thursday I took the day off work. I met up with Dan for A Day Of Fun. We went to a museum. This was very mature of us. There was an exhibition going on about Satire, which was interesting and amusing, particularly because there were silly hats and coats to try on, and also a Punch and Judy puppetty thing to have a go on. Obviously what with Dan and I being so very mature we bypassed that and went straight to the bits where you read stuff and nod interestedly. Then I got bored loudly and we went to the pub. Gently ingesting my bodyweight in wine, I told him all the juicy details concerning the last couple of bullet points. He listened to me, at times amused and at others shocked, whilst ingesting some sort of beer. Then we went to Pizza Express where we ate dinner, where,as I dimly recall, we talked loudly about anal sex (hello Googlers! And members of my family!). After this we went to a hotel in Marble Arch, where I sang some songs and Dan sat at the bar talking to stupidly posh people and an Australian, then we got back on the tube (at which point Dan kindly let me curl his eyelashes), got to a bar and got drunker.

- If you haven't seen Transamerica (TransAmercia? tRansaMerica?) you really should. I thought it was brilliant.

- On Friday evening I went to see trAnsamErica, at the cinema. With a boywhoIlikealotbutthatisallI'msaying. Then went to Soho with him and his friends. I am being coy because some of them read this site, and despite the fact that I have just typed the words 'anal sex', I am feeling shy.

- This entry is long and rambling, with no narrative flow or point. I am not sorry.

- Except that I am a little bit.

- On arrival back to work I discovered that I had been left an Easter Egg containing FOUR chocolate bars and a chocolate egg. FOUR. I looked at them and went up a dress size.

- It's nearly my birthday.

NEARLY MY BIRTHDAY. Don't make a fuss, though, please. Don't like, rush out and buy me shoes and sparkly stuff, honest. Although who am I to be so cruel as to deny you the gift of giving? Give, if you must. If you must give, give to me!

This makes sense. This whole post makes sense. I promise.


Anonymous Lorna Griffiths said...

Hey you!
Thought I should comment really - I'm not sure if I have yet...

In response to this post, I'm highly intrigued by theboyyoulikebutthat'sallyou'resaying - I hope it works out (not that you want it to, because there's nothing to work out :P

In response to other comments - I'm really glad to hear it's all going well - sorry to hear about the need for CBT but glad to hear it's working for you etc. Good luck with that...

I feel like we never really got to know each other that well - MTW got in the way, I feel. This is quite clearly not a good thing. When I eventually get to London (or next time you're up North with nothing to do) I think a drink is in order :)

Lots of love,


8:44 pm

Blogger Jonathan said...

I like to call these the "catching myself up for everyone else" posts.

8:44 pm

Blogger treespotter said...

- despite the fact that the post was well written and there must be something there between the lines or even elsewhere it left too much to imagination and therefore absolutely annoying

- it is a very annoying post and then i decided to post comment anyway is perhaps more due me being annoyed than admiring

- when is your birthday? and why can't you use bullet points?

10:38 pm

Blogger Léonie said...

Lorna - Hello! Thanks for commenting, we should definitely meet up when you're in London or when I venture up to the cold, harsh world north of Watford Gap.

It's nice to hear from you. Hope to see you soon!

Jonathan - I know what you mean. That's a very good way to describe them.

Treespotter - Mwahaha I take pleasure in being annoying. It's like I am virtually flicking you on the arm and I won't stop. No, not really, I am sorry for being annoying. Thing is, see, that the chap in question does actually READ this thing sometimes and so I am being shy. Rest assured that I will stop being shy soon and divulge much more.

I can't use bullet points because, for some reason, on my server Blogger isn't all there. It doesn't really bother me, though.

My birthday is next Monday, the 24th. I will be 24. Is that magical in some way?

10:18 am

Blogger Miss Devylish said...

Yay for birthdays.. tho it sounds like you're already celebrating. I remind people about 3 months in advance and if they need a list of possible items, they can ask.. tho none have as I'm very easy to shop for and love all things sparkly and chocolatey or alcoholicy.. so I say.. live it up.. and for at least a week in advance as you are and possibly a week after. You know, recovering parties. Or hell.. make it a full 4 weeks.. birthday month it!

And I liked the post.. thought it made perfect sense.

2:54 am


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