Sleeping with my eyes open.

This post is being constructed by means of me having plugged my subconscious into my keyboard and letting it run free. Conscious Léonie is asleep. She is not snoring, because, come on, she is FAR too ladylike. She is laid out elegantly on a velvet-covered lounger, wearing a flowing satin nightgown, and she has a delicate smile playing around her lips. She is Happy. Sleep makes her Happy. Léonie + Sleep = World Peace (probably).

Either that OR I am conscious (and I use that in the LOOSEST possible sense of the word) and the above paragraph is a fantasy constructed through my tiredness and feeling of stress that is strange and unfounded. So I will tell you in a short way about things that have been happening around these parts recently. This won't necessarily be a list of Good, Bad or even particularly Interesting things. Sorry to disappoint, if that's what you were expecting. I'm just so tired.

1. I'm not sure I'm quite recovered from last Monday's Robber-In-Flat debacle. Last week I was so exhausted the WHOLE time. I remember that feeling from the times I've had depression, that overwhelming weariness. I'm not a fan.

2. I'm still exhausted, and everything seems like a MASSIVE effort.

3. On a positive note? My Crush? He is SO COOL. And he reads this sometimes, so if he's reading now then Hi there, Crush! You? Are SO COOL. (Blows kiss)

4. I still have no Switch card. And the brighter sparks among you may have deduced that no card = no money. I have £30 to last me till I get my card back. That is not enough, because:

5. I have nothing to wear for my gig on Thursday. Naked singing is, of course, a possibility, but frowned upon, apparently. Some people are such prudes.

6. I keep on having dreams that are disturbing due to their bizarre similarity to real life. By which I mean that things, situations and people present in my 'real' life keep featuring in my subconscious one. But the stress levels in my dreams are hitched up by about twenty notches. So I wake up stressed and in a panic, but then cannot differentiate between stress from the dream and stress from real life. This is Not Fun, and makes me tired.

7. I have realised that going back to the flat I am staying in panics me, because of what happened there. This is an unpleasant feeling, and it means that I spend quite a lot of the time feeling quite stressed. I hate feeling stressed.

8. I think I might be getting fat.

9. Another positive? My little sister Sophie posted a comment the other day. Hurray! She's a good one.

10. I feel like I can't deal with any of this stuff because I'm too tired and my brain won't work.

I don't like writing negative posts, so I'm sorry that I have nothing to say apart from this unbearable shit.

This is funny though, so look at this if you're bored.

I think I need a VERY relaxing holiday. Away from robbers, away from flats with robbers in them, or that might feel like they might have robbers in. Away from the necessity but lack of money. Away from paranoia about friends. Away from boredom. Away from a sneaky, trick-playing subconscious. A sleep-filled holiday, please. A bed-based holiday.

Zzzzzz....