Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Yes. There have been three. But none of them have been made out of such soft suede.

My feet are not as loooong as the one in the picture. So, a shorter footed version of the above. That is my chosen New Boot for the season. And I will buy another one, very similar or even exactly the same, for the other (also shorter) foot. Thus my feet, my shins, my knees and just above my knees will be happy and matchy and the world will rejoice. Well, I will rejoice and the rest of the world will look on in wild, unbridled apathy.

Dear Boots-I-Have-Not-Yet-Bought-But-Will-Soon,
I love you. Please be in my size. (5) I love you.
Lots of love (lots of it)
Léonie (who loves you)
P.S Did I mention how much I love you? Well, it's lots.

You see, in my last post I mentioned how I have racked up three boyfriends in the last year. This is a record. Actually it's not.
Shit.
Anyway, my point is that I will no longer fall in love with human people, but instead I will channel all my passion onto inanimate objects, more specifically, footwear. This may not sound like a good option for some, but you should SEE these boots. We're made for each other. I saw them the other day. It was love. And the very best thing about this sort of love is that you can BUY it for £65!

Imagine the conversations! The long getting-to-know-you nights. The frolicking! We will make each other feel special. It will be beautiful.

Or should I say...

(oh, you know exactly what's coming, don't you?)

...BOOT-iful?

(And there you have the reason I am not allowed near real-life people. Right there. [hangs head])

UPDATE: Read this. It's funny.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

But imagine the pain in store - the first little blister will just be an omen of things to come. Eventually a sole will start to flap slightly, or a heel will wobble threateningly. Then will come the long, painful break-up: you know it's wrong, that things aren't working anymore, but you just can't let go.

Hence my love affair with wine; consumable goods are like flings. See a bad one out to the end, then move on. And truly love a good one. All for a price ranging between £4 (a bad bad fling) and £15 per affair.

It may be a coincidence that I own only one pair of shoes, and that they are five years old. Hmmm.

3:25 pm

 
Blogger Adrian said...

Paul, You've had less pain on wine than with shoes? Your obviosuly not drinking enough of it.

Anyway girls look far better in boots than in wine.

Nice boots by the way. Teh cool.

5:15 pm

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you're looking at it on too small a scale, Adrian. Sure, trying to squeeze a girl into a bottle of wine would be messy and unpleasant for all concerned. But a bath of wine? Think about it.

Sorry Lé.

Oh, and every fling, however happy, ends in a little pain. The question is always 'Was it worth it?' And the answer, if the fling is with wine, is almost always 'Yes'.

Oh god, sounding like an alchie pervert. Shut up Paul.

5:24 pm

 
Blogger Adrian said...

Well they can get a boat in a bottle, why not a girl.

And does the third bottle of red, not give you that mincing agonising pain between the temple that makes you want to die and unable to do up your shoes the next morning?

5:32 pm

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hehe, funny link! Yeah, I really don't talk much about my site in "real life" very much, just because people tend to look at me funny either because they have no idea what I'm talking about or think "oh, she's one of those people..."

Also, love the boots... adorable boots at Real Girl too... trying desperately to stay on budget...

1:13 am

 
Blogger Bug said...

Oh... my... god... how FANTASTIC is suede???? If I could marry suede? I so would

Although I have to agree with Paul (good name) that wine is GOOD

5:10 am

 
Blogger chindi said...

Shoes are good, unless you like going barefoot. I just can't get excited about shoes. I can about jackets though....I love fall and wearing a different jacket every day.

12:43 pm

 
Blogger Anon said...

Just imagining you and your conversations and long getting-to-know-you nights with the boots... very funny thought.

2:12 pm

 

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