Nine AM No More.
Seven more days of work and suddenly I am gripped around the neck with the realisation that soon I won't have a schedule to adhere to. I won't have hours to keep. Nobody is going to bollock me for being late for something every single morning despite my best efforts to squeeze onto the Northern Line with ten thousand million other commuters on time.
What, I keep thinking to myself, the fuck am I going to do? There will be nine o'clocks and six o'clocks that won't mean anything to me any more. I won't be going through a door religiously at ten minutes after one of them and ten minutes before the other. Phones will ring and I won't be obliged to answer them. I am not sure I am going to cope very well with the lack of routine. Perhaps I will create one for myself, although all I can think of at the moment is:
9 am - Don't go to work
6 pm - Don't leave work
I'm drawing a bit of a blank on the rest of the details.
There is the album and the tour, and I will have to sort out gigs. There are songs to be written. Lunches to be talked over and plans to be made and elaborated upon. There are all these things, but these things don't answer the big questions. Questions like what the hell time am I supposed to get up in the morning? Am I allowed to watch Charmed during the day if there is nothing else to do? Can I still eat biscuits? What about Pret Super Club sandwiches?
These are all things I shall have to figure out on my own.
Tom and I are going to a Halloween party on the 28th November and last night we concentrated very hard and tried to think of costumes. The first suggestion was that we go dressed as two fish (in a tank) and go as 'Léonie's jokes'. Horrifying, apparently. I swiftly put a veto on this one as I chuckled to myself. "How the hell do you drive this thing?" is sheer comedy genius, and I will not be deterred from this just because jealous people are jealous of my ability to remember jokes and tell them at inappropriate times.
We decided eventually, and I'm not sure whether maybe this wasn't a secret, to go as each other's worst fears about ourselves. I am going as a Boring Lawyer and Tom is going as a Sell-Out X-Factor-Style Pop Star. I am going to fake tan him, which I suspect just might be the highlight of my whole life. I would appreciate costume suggestions and reassurances that my jokes are indeed really, really ace.
(Another of my favourites: A man walks into a doctors surgery and says "Doctor, I can't pronounce my 'f's or my 'th's!" and the doctor says "Well, you can't say fairer than that then.")
(Come on, it's brilliant.)
posted by Léonie at 11:19 am
9 Comments:
Speaking as someone who has whole days off in the middle of the week, I think you have to get up by 10am, otherwise you feel superlazy.
Charmed and biscuits can still feature in your life, but you need to decide in advance what you have to have done by the end of the day to make you feel you haven't been slacking. Otherwise it's too easy to regard all deadlines all eons away right up to the moment they come screaming past.
Remember what it was like at university? Yeah, that's what you're trying to avoid.
1:30 pm
I once had 3 months off work with panic attacks and general brain freak outs. If I wanted to use the car however I had to get up and drive my boyfriend to work so I really am not a lot of help at all.
I would say up by 10am would be just about right - perhaps start the day doing something that you could do every day - like writing a list of what you have to achieve, which has an added benefit - when you ahve ticked off all the things on the list you can lay around eating bisuits and watching charmed.
2:13 pm
Fantastic.
Up by ten. Make list.
List:
- Watch Charmed (for inspiration)
- Eat biscuits (for sustenance and further inspiration)
Fabulous.
2:25 pm
I think you should purposely stay up (and get up) later and later, an hour each day. In under a month you will have GAINED a day on everyone else, and in under six months you will have a whole week on everyone else in the world.
Think about it: "Léonie - Jazz Singer and Thief of TIME". That would be some boast.
4:55 pm
you should think of names for your lil pony.
6:35 pm
Hmm, not sure that is the sort of list that we were hoping for. It is not very long. Perhaps something like -
Wake up
Open Eyes
Get out of bed
(The bonus of these first three is that you will have already done them so you can tick them ff straight away. Cheating - yes, impressive - yes.
Eat something
Have a nice beverage of choice
Shower
Remind self that you are a wonderful full time singer
Draw a pony
Make up a sentence using the word scud
Watch Charmed
eat Biscuits.
Much longer and completely do-able by about 11.30!
10:58 am
Good luck and that.
Advice. Try and keep office hours.
My temptation is to become nocturnal. That way madness lies.
1:19 am
My best advice would be to keep some form of routine, it will keep you from going mad!
You know, like...
9-10: The Charmed Project
10-10:30: Biscuit Project
10:30-11: Break time (gaze lovingly at new shoes)
11-12: My Pony Project (thinking of, drawing of, naming of)
12-1: Joke Making
1-2: Lunch
2-3: Extended luncheoning...etc etc etc
9:50 pm
Wait, wait.. I just discovered my new favorite:
How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Wanna go ride bikes??!
See? Hilarious! I kill myself!
Also, I think Halloween is in October sweetpea.. ;) But as my birthday is in November, I strongly encourage dressing up for that too!
10:44 pm
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