Wednesday, November 08, 2006

It's Drizzling, and

I'm still in Eastbourne, at the studio.

We've done another song, I have written two more, and I am feeling very, very detached from the world I am used to. The world of social whirlwinds and pretending I can live in the same timescale as my friends.

I have been in the studio and then in the pub, then back to the studio. Every so often I worry that while I am here everyone else is forgetting about me.

I feel isolated, but somehow fulfilled.

There is something that tells me "this is who you are, isolated and slightly lost" and, in a peculiar way, that comforts me.

Perhaps it's true.

Maybe I want that to be true.

I think I want isolation because it absolves me from feeling responsiblity towards anyone who preferred me when I was someone who had passion without direction, songs without the means for singing them.

Maybe I am too self-involved, maybe I am just about self-involved enough.

Who the fuck knows?

I don't know. I think I don't really want to know.

10 Comments:

Anonymous Dan said...

Hmmmm, I have no answers. Only questions. God, I'm mysterious.

However, come round for dinner tonight and I might think of some?!
Go on...

4:47 pm

 
Blogger Curly said...

I'm not forgetting about you.

Where you are is just the right place to write songs. I've always found that being alone/isolated and wondering about what else is happening (or indeed, what HAS happened) helps tremendously to put pen to already-scribbled-on paper.

It's also nice to be doing something different.

5:40 pm

 
Anonymous number1hypocrite said...

*hug*

5:54 pm

 
Blogger Dancinfairy said...

Ah, I crave the isolation! It is very hard to be creative and write a book when you have people expecting you to do things like cook and wash up.

I think that you are probably in a perfect place right now. Time to reflect and time to heal.

8:42 am

 
Blogger Leigh said...

Things sound really tough for you at the moment. I hope things look up.

Curly is right though. The way you're feeling now is probably going to produce some of the best music you've ever written. Of course to a degree, so dont allow yourself to feel all lost and detached for longer than necessary.

And I really hope things look up soon. (But only after all the great songs have been written of course!)

Chin up.

11:56 am

 
Blogger Gordon said...

From the sounds of things you have just the right amount of 'self-questioning' to be considered 'normal'.

Now as to what 'normal' is, well that's a whole other issue..

1:37 pm

 
Anonymous Timbo said...

Don't worry. Everyone feels isolated in Eastbourne.

2:34 pm

 
Blogger The Boy said...

Isolation is actually hard therapy. It doesn't work for everyone, but I think it might for you. Use the time, use your music. Trust me, your friends will remember you with open arms when you're back amongst them. That doesn't change.

2:39 pm

 
Blogger lady miss marquise said...

I don't think we could ever forget about you.
It will just take everyone, you included, a little bit of time to adapt to the new lifestyle.

Sending you lots of love and support from other side of t'pond.

1:28 am

 
Blogger Miss Devylish said...

I think you're just processing.. and feeling good about where you are. There's certainly nothing wrong w/ that. We all need a tad bit of isolation at times.. or some time to reflect. I think most people prefer you to progress.. and you seem to be doing well at doing that girl. I can't wait to see what happens for you next!

8:41 am

 

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