Hurray!

February, in all its non-January glory, is upon us. On Thursday I woke up and felt it. Well, actually what I felt was very, very hungover, but through the dense fog of "two-for-one cocktails! Aces!"-induced pain I sensed that changes had been made. Month one had fallen by the wayside, shed its skin to reveal a new, fresh month, full of promise but beginning with a hearty dose of Alka-Seltzer.

The night before had been very fun, if somewhat cocktail-orientated. I met some very nice and interesting people, and talked rubbish at them, therefore ensuring that, whilst I might describe them as "nice and interesting", they probably would not return the favour. A few buses and some chips later my friend Kirsten and I collapsed into her bed, carefully lining up hearty cups of water in precarious places, which I knocked over all over my pile of discarded clothing only a short time later.

Later on the next day, after recovering to the best of our abilities, we headed back into town. Kirsten was going to Piccadilly and I was going further, so to alleviate the boredom of the journey we had a quick game of Carriage Marriage.

I don't know if anyone else ever plays this game. I don't know whether it has been around since the dawn of the Tube Age and everyone knows about it, but if you haven't played and ever use the tube you should try it. To my knowledge it was invented by my ex-flatmate Bec, but correct me if I'm wrong.

Here's how to play.

Each player looks around the carriage at the people in it, and then each must pick out someone to marry.

(It has to be proper, restofyourlife marriage, not a quick fling or a weekly Scrabble game.)

When approaching the next stop you must each declare whether you wish to 'stick' or 'twist'. I'm sure this doesn't need explaining, but I will do it anyway. If you stick, you are saying that you wish to stick with the person you have chosen, and you cannot change even if someone super-dreamy gets on. If you twist, though, you MUST choose someone different at the next stop, even if your person was the sole other person in the carriage and a hunchback with one tooth and an ominous-looking sythe is the only person to get on.

If you stick and your person gets off the train, you lose (but you can keep on playing).

It is simple, see?

You win if the person you have chosen gets off at the same stop as you. Especially if they are really, really hot. The game is more about judging your fellow passengers than gaining points.

There are ceratin factors to be taken into account with Carriage Marriage. You do not base your marital decisions solely on what someone looks like. This, of course, would be fickle. Think of other things. Do they, for example, look rich? Like they would be good in bed? What are they reading? Would you say they washed regularly? All these things are important.

Saying that, it is also important to remember that, in order to win, the other players must deem your prospect attractive, so don't pick a complete minger just because they happen to be reading a clever-looking book or have expensive-looking shoes.

My biggest victory was last summer, playing with Bec and David. They had both stuck, I had twisted. A man got on who was so wonderfully and incredibly hot we all just starting laughing. He was stupidly, unbelievably gorgeous, and probably used to being touched inappropriately by strangers than being laughed at quite like that. Nevertheless, he was mine, and what's more, he got off the train at Kings Cross. As did we. I won on so many levels.

Also useful is good tube knowledge. At weekends, for example, it would be foolish to twist when approaching Moorgate, because it is a business area and not many people get on and off there on weekends. Same applies for Bank. Angel is a good one to twist on because lots of young attractive people go there. Same applies for Old Street. Maybe you could do some research into the areas in London with the most ugly/poor people? I'm sure that would stand you in good stead.

Next time you are on the tube you should play this game. When Kirsten and I played the other day I ended up talking to the person I had chosen, although not about us maybe getting hitched. Talking to your person is not supposed to be part of the game, and it turns out I don't think we would have been very compatible in marriage anyway. I would not want someone who talks to people on the tube, it is firmly against the rules and I do not approve of it in the least.

There. I hope it will take off very soon and everyone in London will be simultaneously evaluating everyone else's marriage potential everytime they step onto the tube. Or the bus, which could be called Bussy Hussy, and maybe should be changed to who you would most want to have a one night stand with.

Today I am going to dye my hair and then go and meet my friend Steve for a coffee (by which I mean beer, but I want you to acknowledge my good intentions) after which we might be going to a gig.

Tomorrow night I am going to a cabaret night (http://www.myspace.com/fingerinthecabaret) which promises to be very much fun, and at which I might be doing a bit of singing.

Firstly, though, I am going to do some work and drink some tea.

I hope you're having a lovely weekend.