Detention for the lot of them, I say.

SCENE: Clapham North Station, Friday night.

One of those whiteboards they have in the stations to write updates about the running of the tubes.

In neat, careful handwriting, the following:

"The Northern Line has been slightly disrupted, due to local vandals causing problems at London Bridge.

They have since been caught.

They said they were sorry."

That's so very English, don't you think?

I have an image of some cross-looking policemen in proper policemen helmets and carrying truncheons, standing over some young scallywags with scabby knees who are hanging their heads in shame and shuffling their feet; the policemen extracting a mumbled and red-faced apology from them and then letting them go, satisfied that justice has been served.