Does anyone have any sleep I could borrow?

I am sulking.

Blogger has gone all funny on my computer and when I type it doesn't look like I want it to look. Also I can't do italics or bold and I feel that I am being repressed. In the last but one sentence I would have put the word 'want' in italics, for emphasis. I couldn't, though. I feel like I've been forced to regress to the Dark Ages, and that I might as well etch some words onto a slate and put the slate in a location just outside Slough and everyone who wants to read it will have to get on their damned mules and go and read it.

Also I am tired and that makes me sulk for no good reason.

Ahem.

There are some things that have happened in the last, well, couple of days. Not, like, massively exciting things, but some stuff.

1. My First Ever Office Party happened. The bill for the night, which I looked at for reference, and perhaps also because I am really nosy, came to more than I earn in a month. I also may or may not have drunk my own body weight in Champagne. There was chocolate mousse, a bit of which dropped onto one of my breasts (they get in the way of stuff sometimes) and someone offered to lick it off, and then suddenly looked a bit fearful at the prospect of me accepting the offer. I did not, however, accept the offer. I think that was the extent of the 'loads of drunken irresponsible sex at the Office Christmas Party' thing. There was an argument, though, which I watched with glee, and which was almost as good.

2. The radio is currently playing 'Stay Now' by East 17. It might be called simply 'Stay'. I hate this song, but cannot stop myself singing along, and oftentimes making up harmonies to the chorus. This is a cause of a deep-seated self-loathing that is only partially remedied by ritually forcing myself to sit through a whole Westlife song without a)eating my own head or b)nailing my hands to my ears. As punishment, you see.

3. I saw King Kong last night. I actually think it is one of the best films I have ever seen. It was beautiful, romantic, fantastical. Naomi Watts was captivating and Jack Black's performance was so moving that I actually stopped hoping he'd burst into a rendition of 'Fuck Her Gently' within about five minutes. Although that would've been cool.

4. On Saturday I went to a surprise birthday party in Wokingham, where I did shots of a drink called Unicum and tried to persuade Paul to do a striptease to the Countdown music. He wouldn't. Prude.

5. It was a good party, though, in spite, or perhaps because of that.

6. I would have put the 'because' in the last sentence in italics.

7. Um.. there's this guy. I like him and I think he likes me. Well he said he does. He's hot. That's all I'm saying because I am secretive and these things ALWAYS GO WRONG and I am not getting my hopes up.

8. We have a flat! In Clapham! It's not as swanky (by any means) as the one in Oval but it's Fine and we are going to just Deal With the bits of mould in the bathroom. It's five minutes from Clapham North tube station, and if you don't know where that is look it up, because it's CLOSE motherfuckers and I'm going to live there. Except that, you know the thing I just wrote about things always going wrong and not getting my hopes up? Yes, well I am also applying that here.

9. I sang in a piano bar the other day. I sang Hero ("...and then a hero comes along... with the strength to carry o-o-on..."). I sang it with feeling. I am not ashamed. Except that I am, a little bit.

10. My phone is shit and I hate it. I know that hate is not an emotion that we should give in to at this time of the year, and that is one we should try to reserve for summer when we are all hot on the tube and someone is breathing on us, but I don't care. I embrace the hate, and welcome the sick, twisted person I have become as a result.

11. Did I mention I was tired? I am.

12. I am going to meet Dan this evening in Covent Garden where we will look for Christmas presents for our respective sisters and I will whinge a WHOLE LOT because of point eleven. Lucky Dan. I hope he doesn't read this and then cancel.

13. There is no point thirteen.

14. Or fourteen.

15. Sometimes I am not sure there is any point at all.

16. Now is not one of those times.

17. Um...

18. I have no idea why I am persisting with the points even though I have nothing more to say.

19. Somehow, SOMEHOW I can't stop and I feel like I'm in a point-based trance which will continue for ever and ever amen.

20. Except that I'm not and it won't.