Léonie: The Musical!

My back, she is still hurting. I took the day off from work yesterday in order to sit on the sofa and think about how STUPID I am for EVER having thought it was a good idea to jump off a fifty foot water fall, and how, if ever presented with the same opportunity, I would probably incline my head a touch, as if to condsider, and then open a bottle of wine and get comfortable, as if to say NO WAY, DO I LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE FUCKING IDIOT? DO I?

(I would not necessarily wait for an answer to that question, though.)

I had to cancel my plans for last night, which was very depressing as they were fun plans. They have been re-planned, though, so fear not. It's astounding what some dirty text messages can achieve.

I met up with Euan the other night, at the place with the Disturbing Paper Fish and the red wine. Also some very dodgy sour cream, but that's incidental. We only talked about that for a little bit and then Euan drew me a picture of some swans on the napkin and we quickly forgot about the sour cream.

We DID, however, talk about my website (no, not this one, the OTHER one). The fact that I haven't updated it in, oh, ages. I haven't been doing many gigs recently. Except for very little ones, like I did on Tuesday. I haven't really wanted to organise any. Not because I am any less keen for my career, but because I can't help but feel it is a bit futile to be spending my time organising gigs only in order to sing other people's music. I have developed a six month plan, with my friend Jono. Jono and I met up the other week and he helped me formulate a plan. And, obviously, when I say 'he helped me formulate a plan', I mean that he asked me incisive questions about my singing and I mumbled replies through mouthfuls of wine.

I have written four songs in the last two weeks. I am determined that, before I organise any more gigs, I will have a whole performance, rather than just 'um.. just me, singing some songs'. I am going to use the fact that I love performing, I love being on stage, and I am something of an exhibitionist. I want to create an act, a show. The songs I have written are blues-y and jazz-y, but I want the lyrics to be clever, and funny. And also to rhyme. At the moment they are getting there. I am working on it. I have talented friends who have offered to help. If I could get over the hurdle of being too embarrassed to show them my songs for fear of their derisive laughter, it would be much easier. My God, but I am such an intriuging contradiction,
am I not?

(Again, I will not be hanging around for the answer to that one.)

I am confident, though. I can picture it quite clearly: perhaps keyboard, trumpet, double bass. Maybe some drums to give it a fuller rhythm section. Burlesque influenced. A visually as well as an aurally stimulating spectacle. The elements of musical theatre that I love, but with less pretentiousness, and more jazz.

There is this thing going on with a producer who has promised me fame and fortune which I haven't really mentioned on here. It looks to be quite promising, good songs, lots of Big Talk. But I'm not going to put all of my (insert the plural of my least favourite word here) in one basket. If it all takes off, then fine. But I am planning as if that doesn't exist. In order to avoid disappointment, and to plan for every eventuality.

I think I am too competitive to ever stop with this. I have inner faith* in myself and my capacity to make this happen for myself, although I am only just becoming clear on what 'this' is. I have struggled with decisions. On the one hand, I want to sing, as myself, my own stuff. On the other hand, I love doing musical theatre, and have recently been 'advised' by people from Schools Of Music In London to do musical theatre, and audition for the West End. They really said that! I was like oh! Thanks! But, um, my dancing is shit. Never mind! I just won't do Chicago!

*The phrase 'inner faith' makes me sound like I am listing the 'qualities' of an astrological sign for one of those little fridge magnets, and only really looks right if it's in swirly font and surrounded by depictions of little flowers on vines.

I have decided to play to my strengths, and to combine my favourite elements of both.

How did I not think of this before?

Why did YOU not think of this before? What's that? You DID? Well why didn't you tell me?

Bygones.

So Euan and I came to the conclusion that it would be better to have a 'news' section on leoniehiggins.com, instead of gigs, so any gigs I happen upon I can put up there, but I can also write things about the songs I am writing and the ideas I'm having. So it'll be a little bit more like a blog.

What do you think, oh expert blog readers? Will I be able to maintain TWO blog-like things? Do you have any costume ideas? Or song titles to work with? Or jokes? Or interesting deformities?