Of Fears, Food and Fleeing

Three songs. One CD.

One VERY SCARED ME.

There are all these unnamed fears sloshing around in my brain. These fears can be summed up, rather neatly, thus:

(ahem)

WHAT IF MY SONGS ARE SHIT,I AM SHIT, AND I HAVE TO STAY IN A JOB ABOUT WHICH I DO NOT CARE AND THEREFORE AT WHICH I AM, YES, YOU GUESSED IT, SHIT?

I know I wrote a post (in the loosest possible sense of the word) the other day, which was along these same self-obsessive lines, but I am suffering. WOE IS ME. Sort of.

It would be so comforting if Sir Paul McCartney, to pluck a name at random, were here. He could put his arm gently around my shoulders and offer some words of advice and reassurance to get me through this period of self-doubt. However, there is rarely a Beatle around when one most needs him, and I therefore must struggle onwards with only the support of my family and friends to see me through.

Yeah, THANKS A FUCKING LOT, Sir Paul.

Um.. anyway. I feel I digress from the real point of this post, which, clearly, is General Whining and Self-Pity. Oh, prehaps I did not digress.

My three tracks were all recorded on my IMac at home. Two are just a single track of vocal, and the other one is two tracks of vocal, in harmony. I have played them to one person, my friend Kate, and she liked them. A lot, she said. But she lies, which is why I'm friends with her. Keeps me guessing.

There isn't anything really to whine about. I am just very, very skilled at bypassing that fact and going ahead and doing it anyway. In fact I am at good stage if I think about it a little more closely. I have three tracks, enough for a decent demo. I am sending them away to two people whose musical know-how and songwriting skills far exceed mine. Both of whom are good friends, and both of whom have offered to help me out. If the tracks are mostly shit, they will find the good bits and help me make those into a bit longer good bit, which hopefully will then transmute seamlessly into a song full of good bits, otherwise known as a 'good song'.

Everything is steamrollering ahead for the Big Move Into Clapham. I am excited. I have finally allowed myself to be excited. I have ordered posters from the Internet. I have booked Monday off work in order to move properly, because I'm going away this weekend.

Oh, did I mention that I was going away this weekend? I am. To a place caled 'Matlock', which is not in London. I don't know where it is. I am told it is in a place called 'The English Countryside', but not by reliable sources. A friend from home has arranged this excursion, by booking out an entire youth hostel, and emailing all his friends asking them if they want to go. It will be lots of people I know, and some I don't. We paid £40 each, including alcohol and food. Which is Cheap! We will go on the Friday evening, and.. Well I will just copy and paste the email he sent around.


Mademoiselles et Monsieurs,



Here's another update before the ACTION weekend. It covers topics as far and
wide-reaching as Transport and Agenda.



TRANSPORT



Attached you will find a spreadsheet with drivers on it. If your name is on the
list, you've agreed to drive. For the rest of you please put your name down
against where you want a lift from and with whom and we'll try to manage it all
in 8 cars (absolute maximum 9 parking spaces at the YH).



AGENDA





Friday



9pm onwards – People arrive



10.30pm - Introduction to the ACTION weekend and short game



11.30pm – Drinks/Free time





Saturday



9am – Breakfast



10am – Depart for walks



5pm – Rendezvous at local Public House for pre-dinner drinks



8pm – Dinner



9pm – Drinking and free time



Sunday



10am – Breakfast



11am – Clean Hostel and depart (we must vacate by 11.30am)



Day activity TBA



3pm - END





WHAT TO BRING



Kit to bring with you (maybe ask Santa if there's something you don’t have):



Sturdy shoes

Waterproofs

Warm clothes (hat, gloves)

Torch

Water bottle

Towel

Cash (may not be a bank nearby)

Chocolate (rations)

Daysack



We'll sort out rooms when we get there, but there are 1x2, 2x4, 2x6. We'll need
to write down which rooms we are in for fire safety. The hostel burnt down
about 20 years ago, so we'll need to be careful it doesn’t happen again!



FAQ’s:



How tough will the walks be?

They will be a good day out in the countryside are nothing to be scared of – we
are not scaling the Eider so you’ll be fine.



Will I have to do any chores or help out?

Yes. There are 22 of us going so we will be nominating people to help cook and
clean. It won’t be for very long and it’ll be good fun so please do it when
asked.



Do I need to bring any alcohol?

No. Everything is provided.



How much fun will I have, on a scale of 1-10?

12



What if I have any more questions/suggestions?

Get in touch.


This is, I hope, an email laden with irony. Some of us may have at one time or another been in Scouts, you see, and this is a 'take' on it. I really, really hope.

It think it'll be fun, though. I'm really looking forward to getting away from London. As much as I love it, and I do, the prospect of leaving it for a bit is warm and squashy and amazing. Also, I don't have to pay for alcohol! Hurray!

I have another reason to smile. He knows who he is.

And ALSO (Good Lord I have lots to be happy about!) I had the most amazing sandwich-related experience OF MY LIFE today, involving a Super Club from Pret, which was all kinds of wonderful followed by a most satisfactory apple.

What I would like most of all in the whole world ever is to know that my songs were, in some tiny way, a fraction as great as that sandwich.