Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Of Fears, Food and Fleeing

Three songs. One CD.


There are all these unnamed fears sloshing around in my brain. These fears can be summed up, rather neatly, thus:



I know I wrote a post (in the loosest possible sense of the word) the other day, which was along these same self-obsessive lines, but I am suffering. WOE IS ME. Sort of.

It would be so comforting if Sir Paul McCartney, to pluck a name at random, were here. He could put his arm gently around my shoulders and offer some words of advice and reassurance to get me through this period of self-doubt. However, there is rarely a Beatle around when one most needs him, and I therefore must struggle onwards with only the support of my family and friends to see me through.


Um.. anyway. I feel I digress from the real point of this post, which, clearly, is General Whining and Self-Pity. Oh, prehaps I did not digress.

My three tracks were all recorded on my IMac at home. Two are just a single track of vocal, and the other one is two tracks of vocal, in harmony. I have played them to one person, my friend Kate, and she liked them. A lot, she said. But she lies, which is why I'm friends with her. Keeps me guessing.

There isn't anything really to whine about. I am just very, very skilled at bypassing that fact and going ahead and doing it anyway. In fact I am at good stage if I think about it a little more closely. I have three tracks, enough for a decent demo. I am sending them away to two people whose musical know-how and songwriting skills far exceed mine. Both of whom are good friends, and both of whom have offered to help me out. If the tracks are mostly shit, they will find the good bits and help me make those into a bit longer good bit, which hopefully will then transmute seamlessly into a song full of good bits, otherwise known as a 'good song'.

Everything is steamrollering ahead for the Big Move Into Clapham. I am excited. I have finally allowed myself to be excited. I have ordered posters from the Internet. I have booked Monday off work in order to move properly, because I'm going away this weekend.

Oh, did I mention that I was going away this weekend? I am. To a place caled 'Matlock', which is not in London. I don't know where it is. I am told it is in a place called 'The English Countryside', but not by reliable sources. A friend from home has arranged this excursion, by booking out an entire youth hostel, and emailing all his friends asking them if they want to go. It will be lots of people I know, and some I don't. We paid £40 each, including alcohol and food. Which is Cheap! We will go on the Friday evening, and.. Well I will just copy and paste the email he sent around.

Mademoiselles et Monsieurs,

Here's another update before the ACTION weekend. It covers topics as far and
wide-reaching as Transport and Agenda.


Attached you will find a spreadsheet with drivers on it. If your name is on the
list, you've agreed to drive. For the rest of you please put your name down
against where you want a lift from and with whom and we'll try to manage it all
in 8 cars (absolute maximum 9 parking spaces at the YH).



9pm onwards – People arrive

10.30pm - Introduction to the ACTION weekend and short game

11.30pm – Drinks/Free time


9am – Breakfast

10am – Depart for walks

5pm – Rendezvous at local Public House for pre-dinner drinks

8pm – Dinner

9pm – Drinking and free time


10am – Breakfast

11am – Clean Hostel and depart (we must vacate by 11.30am)

Day activity TBA

3pm - END


Kit to bring with you (maybe ask Santa if there's something you don’t have):

Sturdy shoes


Warm clothes (hat, gloves)


Water bottle


Cash (may not be a bank nearby)

Chocolate (rations)


We'll sort out rooms when we get there, but there are 1x2, 2x4, 2x6. We'll need
to write down which rooms we are in for fire safety. The hostel burnt down
about 20 years ago, so we'll need to be careful it doesn’t happen again!


How tough will the walks be?

They will be a good day out in the countryside are nothing to be scared of – we
are not scaling the Eider so you’ll be fine.

Will I have to do any chores or help out?

Yes. There are 22 of us going so we will be nominating people to help cook and
clean. It won’t be for very long and it’ll be good fun so please do it when

Do I need to bring any alcohol?

No. Everything is provided.

How much fun will I have, on a scale of 1-10?


What if I have any more questions/suggestions?

Get in touch.

This is, I hope, an email laden with irony. Some of us may have at one time or another been in Scouts, you see, and this is a 'take' on it. I really, really hope.

It think it'll be fun, though. I'm really looking forward to getting away from London. As much as I love it, and I do, the prospect of leaving it for a bit is warm and squashy and amazing. Also, I don't have to pay for alcohol! Hurray!

I have another reason to smile. He knows who he is.

And ALSO (Good Lord I have lots to be happy about!) I had the most amazing sandwich-related experience OF MY LIFE today, involving a Super Club from Pret, which was all kinds of wonderful followed by a most satisfactory apple.

What I would like most of all in the whole world ever is to know that my songs were, in some tiny way, a fraction as great as that sandwich.


Blogger Dancinfairy said...

I have also had a great apple experience today. The sandwich wasn't as great but that's cos I made it myself.

The weekend away sounds like so much fun. My friends would never organise something that...well organised! Hope you have a great time.

I'm sure the songs are great - you are Queen of worrying and the like.

4:15 pm

Anonymous number1hypocrite said...

That was quite possibly the longest entry I've seen in a blog in a long, long time.

P.S. Did you comment on my journal? I had a comment from an IP address based in the UK, so I thought it might be you. Just wondering, 'cause I hadn't seen you by my site in a while.

Talk with you soon.

1:37 am

Blogger Bug said...

That sounds like soooo much fun (hello 16-year-old Bug!) - take photos!!

Also, the sandwich I understand. But a satisfying apple??

12:00 pm

Anonymous Anonymous said...

that sounds great! and you can sing in the car! or satisfy them with apples..

7:56 pm

Anonymous Angela said...

I've been meaning to say this for a while and I think I keep forgetting. I listened to songs from your website and you completely blew me away--you are fabulous woman! I'm sure your demo will be fantastic, and I'm just waiting to see your album on the shelves so I can snap them all up! (In short, STOP WORRYING!!) (Also, I realize that not worrying is virtually impossible for most people, so disregard the previous sentence.)

9:25 pm

Blogger Miss Devylish said...

I need to listen to the songs on the website but I'm sure they're great.. and you have nothing to worry about..

on a side note.. please tell me, being a stupid american, how you ppl will fit in rooms of this size '1x2, 2x4, 2x6?' Um.. really confused..

12:38 am

Blogger Ant said...

Sounds like fun but, um, I don't think there's much irony in that email...

11:41 am

Blogger Swedish Girl said...

Ah, the country-side. I have heard of such a place (looks grimly into the far distance).

It looks kind of like Hampstead Heath, apparently.

Sir Paul McCartney likes it, though, I've heard. Some belated support might be forthcoming?

8:32 pm

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Which songs are you putting on the CD?

Your voice is beautiful on "Autumn Leaves".

11:39 am

Anonymous Dan said...

I'm glad your Dad can make you smile. I've always thought of him as a funny chap...

Hope the day got better on Wednesday, and enjoy the rambling you venture scouty geek you. Dib dib dib...

10:34 pm

Blogger Dancinfairy said...

Hey - congratulations on making the final 7 on Blogging for Books!

5:21 pm

Blogger Miss Devylish said...

Alright my fair English sistah.. I linked to your cute little singy site.. and of course, the first song you're sining is one of my forever favorites - Bye Bye Blackbird. And girl, puh-lease.. worried? You can sing like an angel.. really.. you have a lovely lovely voice.. love it! So I know I only have 5 readers, but you're blog AND your music site is linked on mine.. anything I can do to help - not that you need it. mwah!

6:20 pm

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8:43 am


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