SPAMENTINE UPDATE!

So, I replied to the spamentine (I like that word)(thanks, Lucky).

I said something along the lines of: Alright, give me a clue then. I still think you're spam but if you're not then a hint, please.

In response? This:

A Poem about Spam

When a middle aged Nigerian bank manager,
(with millions in laundered money)
Writes to a young, impressionable and desperate westerner
(with millions in arrears)
There is chemistry unlike any other
(Except perhaps a pill for enlarging male genitalia)

Spam is also a type of luncheon meat…mmmmm

p.s. clue no. 1…I’m not a fake Nigerian bank manager

I didn't reply. Because I think that is a little strange, to be honest. This morning I got another one.

He/she/it (I don't know what gender one refers to spam as) would like me to ask three questions to find out who it is. Presumably it can't be
1. Who are you?
2. Are you spam?
3. Go, on, who ARE you and ARE you spam come on you're annoying me now.

So I need question suggestions.

I was thinking of asking 'how do you know me' would be a good start. To find out whether it's a spammer, I need to ask one about me. Perhaps ask which University I went to, whether I play any musical instruments, have any piercings, or what I look like.

(The answers to those questions are: Warwick, the cello, my nose, and like a mix between Kate Moss and Cherie Blair*)

(*except not really so much)

Anyway.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU!

Did you get the flowers and card I sent you? No? Bloody postal service, can't trust 'em.

Please give me suggestions, thanks. All my love to you on this day of hearts, flowers and grey drizzle over London.