Tuesday, November 14, 2006


Now I am home. Back where it is warm, where there is food in the fridge and carpets that haven't been walked on by hundreds of strangers from the past with verrucas.

Yesterday, at about nine-thirty pm, I took a last cursory glance in all the rooms in the flat to check that they were clean, and also that none of us had left anything tremendously embarrassing behind that would have to be collected at a later date (vibrator in the desk drawer? Lucky I checked.) (Lucky it was my drawer.)

I stood at my window for a bit, trying not to breathe on the freshly-polished glass, and tried to commit the room to memory. It has struck me a few times that, by leaving the flat, I am leaving behind so many memories that begin and end in those the chipped floorboard-ed, bright pink curtain-ed, mouse-ridden confines. I did like it there. The parties, the over-enthusiastic singing along to the Power Ballads CD whilst washing up, the even-more-enthusiastic singing along to the Power Ballads CD whilst simply dancing crazy-like around the living room, the rumbling of the trains as they trundled by about ten metres from the window. Waving to the Eurostar as it went by, hoping it would take my wave along to Paris for my Impish Little Sister, Railway Children-style.

My life has undergone a rather dramatic and sudden re-shuffle in the last three weeks.

Sudden. No job, no flat, no boyfriend.

Written out like that it seems rather more stark than it actually is.

I may have no nine-to-five, but I have the smallest buddings of a career.

I may have no flat, but I have a home not so far from London.

As for the third thing, I am not sure yet. It is, however, what it is, and the only thing I can do is live through it.

Today I am unpacking, which involves finding space for things I should have maybe thrown away and wondering whether I really might have needed all the things I threw away last week. I am aching and sore from carrying the rest of my stuff back from Clapham yesterday (two large rucksacks, a large hold-all and a keyboard stand) and my head is slightly fuzzy from inhaling about six litres of Pledge.

I am happy to be home.

I'm off to gaze in wonder at the glorious contents of the fridge.


I keep finding write-ups of that 'blogmeet' I went to the other week, as I haven't been reading blogs quite as often as I'd like now that I'm not being paid to pretend I'm doing something else. Not out of lack of interest, you understand.
Anyway, what a nice thing to find written about me when I'm feeling a somewhat low and in need of ponies (from Mike of Troubled Diva):

"...we didn't really get past the nodding and smiling stage. She really is a very lovely looking lady, though. Is it OK to say that? Well, she is, dammit! I'm a big old poof-arse, I can say these things."

Yes, he can say these things, and I shall not stop him.

I knew blogging was all about how you looked.


Anonymous Timbo said...

And relax!
You sound like you need to take a well-earned rest. I would recommend a nice sit down in front of an open fire with a cat huddled on your lap, a nice large glass of port, and an old 1950's matinee on channel 4.
And a spliff. Perhaps. If you're that way inclined. :)

2:10 pm

Blogger Will said...

Steer clear of the port, you don't want to end up like that Keane guy...

2:23 pm

Blogger Dancinfairy said...

Oh! The joys of a well stocked parental fridge. There is nothing quite like it really.

I am glad that you are ok and haven't freaked out about being at your parents.

A budding career...it is so exciting. I cannot wait until you are famous and I will go and see you sing and say to people "I knew her before she was famous".

Oh and by the way, Happiness is one of those songs that gets stuck in my head and will not go. I was singing it for the whole time I painted my room on Sunday. It is now my ring tone on my mobile phone too.

Please note I am not a stalker I just like the song! :o)

3:15 pm

Anonymous paul said...

I experienced a pretty similar three-pronged upheaval almost exactly a year ago, and, as you know, it sparked the best 12 months of my life. It's incredibly revitalising to change direction entirely.

3:55 pm

Blogger Curly said...

Is there a nice selection of cheese in the fridge? Every good home should have one. Perhaps some salami too?

Did you have a keyboard to go on the keyboard stand?

I'm full of questions today.

3:58 pm

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry to be nosy...but who dumped who?

5:00 pm

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i like a person who always looks on the bright side.

6:18 pm

Blogger Huw said...

If you don't get the deposit back after actually polishing the windows, well, there is no justice in this world.

7:25 pm

Anonymous andre said...

From now on it will have to be 'silent fiddles' for you, young lady.

9:02 pm

Blogger Miss Devylish said...

Why do you think I keep the picture of me in the blue hair up all the time? You know how it is.. who reads the blogs anyway? We all just look at the pictures..

You sound calm and reflective and I'm still sorry for the 3rd thing, but you sound like you're clear-headed about it all. That's good.. I've done those 3 bits all at once too.. it seems to go around at times. I'm still sending virtual ponies your way. xoxo

7:55 am

Anonymous Mr Angry said...

I don't normally comment on comments, but Andre has just made spit tea out of my nose.

Thanks for that.

5:31 pm

Anonymous Mr Angry said...

Bugger - unless of course it actually is some sort of musical reference, and he has double bluffed me into thinking it was a double-entendre, thus making me look like a smutty, innuendo-seeking commenter?

* Tells self to stop over thinking comments now *

5:34 pm

Blogger lady miss marquise said...

I know it may come as a shock, but umm... that's really not me in the picture.
It doesn't even resemble me... shocking? Yes, I know.

And I felt a real pang of nostalgia when I read this, about leaving flats and memories, to start out new (somewhat hungover after an evening of dancing, and of course the last minute manic panic pack?!)

I hope there's alot more Power Ballards and Sister Acts and all in your new adventures.

12:10 am


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